Beloved New York day trip destination and shithole Coney Island was hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. Not to worry: Matt Chaban reports that, with the official opening of CONEY SUMMER 2013 FUCK YEAH CLAM STRIPS *VOMITS* just weeks away, the rebuilding effort has successfully rehabilitated the charming hellscape. Buildings, completely remodeled! Businesses, spiffed up! Rides, scrubbed and repainted! The very sand on the beach sifted for debris, leaving the beaches "cleaner than they probably have been in a century!"
Here's a delicious template for peace in the Middle East: Coney Island Bialys and Bagels — at 91, the oldest bialy shop in New York City — was on the brink of shutting down after the founder's grandson had called it quits. But the bialys will live on, thanks to two Muslim businessmen harboring a deep fondness for the ways of the shmear.
On Monday, it seemed that the bad boy of competitive eating, former world champion Takeru Kobayashi had unofficially reclaimed his crown as the world's greatest eater of hot dogs when he bested nemesis Joey Chestnut at an alternate event in Manhattan. But video of Kobayashi's event proves otherwise.