Fidel Castro Is Fully Retired Now

Jeff Neumann · 04/19/11 06:33AM

After taking his time leaving Cuba's Communist Party, Fidel Castro wrote today that he's finally done: "Raul knew that at this time I wouldn't accept any role in the party." They just don't make dictators like they used to.

Fidel Castro: I Quit 5 Years Ago, Suckers

Jeff Neumann · 03/22/11 07:16AM

It seems that "former" Cuban leader Fidel Castro pulled a funny on everyone! After having surgery in 2006 to stop intestinal bleeding, Fidel issued a statement saying his brother Raul would temporarily be taking charge of Cuba. But in a new column the old timer states that the people of Cuba "affectionately" called him the leader of the Communist Party even though he really wasn't (sort of) and didn't want to be (kind of). According to Fidel:

Happy Birthday, Ronald Reagan!

Jeff Neumann · 02/06/11 01:56PM

Ronald Reagan would have turned 100 years old today, and there are celebrations galore across the country. How are you celebrating the life of the Greatest American Who Ever Lived? Let's remember the Gipper today with this classic straight-shooter moment.

Another Alleged Russian Spy Caught, Deported from US

Jeff Neumann · 07/14/10 05:08AM

The Russian spy story continues: A mid-twenties software tester at Microsoft, Alexey Karetnikov, has been deported on immigration charges and is said to be the 12th member of the spy ring. Last chance for reporters to overuse Cold War clichés!

Feds Arrest Ten 'Russian Spies'

Jim Newell · 06/28/10 04:29PM

Hooray, the Cold War is back and awesome. The U.S. government has arrested 10 Russian secret agents who were working "long-term" on getting all of our juiciest bits. Cables from Moscow were intercepted and everything! Holy potatoes.