Today We Honor Columbus, An Inspiration to Cruel Half-Wits Everywhere

Ken Layne · 10/14/13 09:42AM

For centuries after his accidental discovery of the Bahamas, Christopher Columbus was a true hero of history. But then the alternative histories were published, and the colonization of the New World was revealed to be a nightmare of atrocity and terror. Still, we can learn something from this stubborn idiot who insisted until the day he died that Cuba was part of Asia.

Mo Rocca Reminds Us Christopher Columbus Was Kind of a Dick

Robert Kessler · 10/08/12 09:57AM

On yesterday's CBS Sunday Morning, Mo Rocca asked, "Why do we celebrate Columbus Day?" Christopher Columbus (not the Home Alone director) did not, as he points out, actually discover America. And besides, he was a total dick; everybody knows Columbus Day was only created by Franklin D. Roosevelt to court the Italian-American vote. But if you feel like honoring our genocidal, egomaniacal founding father, you can make a pilgrimage to New York's Columbus Circle.

The 10 Stupidest American Holidays

Brian Moylan · 10/10/11 02:12PM

Today is Columbus Day in case you weren't aware. What a stupid holiday! Nothing against Columbus (other than the fact he was a dirty colonist who killed off millions of Native Americans) but taking an entire day to celebrate him is a total waste. And there's a whole list of other holidays and celebrations we should get rid of. Let's look.