You're probably tired of smelling like steak and used diapers all day because, let's face it, you're disgusting. Maybe a fragrance is in order. It shouldn't be too offensive, but should remain familiar. Perhaps the literal scent of a woman?
AXE Body Spray, the cologne of choice for rapists and lonely teens, scandalized the entire nation of India last month when it started running its ads there showing a man made of chocolate who walks around being eaten by women. It was all to promote their chocolate scent, to which I hope never to be exposed. Here in America, where reporters are more jaded, the company had to take more drastic measures to get attention:
Will these waggish fragrance marketing types ever stop with their cheeky penis humor? Eleven-year-old cologne wearers sure hope not! San Francisco—a popular home to gays—is all atwitter because of a new campaign by the giant ad agency Ogilvy for Tom of Finland, a new scent inspired by the famous homoerotic artist of the same name. They took posters of Tom's drawings, see, and positioned them just so next to protruding objects—that to a dirty mind might resemble a huge, hard cock! Such sophisticated appeal to the target demographic. The gays like that stuff, right? So they'll surely open their wallets for this:
Parfums Givenchy, which means "Givenchy Perfumes" in American, has picked Justin Timberlake as the face of its new men's cologne [Off The Rack]. The company president said the poppity pop star "is a world recognized trendsetter who redefines modern elegance." Sure he is. A better thing for Justin to put his face on: