Early Friday morning on CNBC Squawk Box, host Joe Kernen had some really interesting things to say about rupees. Actually he didn’t, but that didn’t stop him from adopting an Indian accent while talking about the currency. When it was clear his co-hosts Becky Quick and Andrew Ross Sorkin were uncomfortable, he tried with all his might to hold back the hilarity on the tip of his tongue: “No, I can’t do it. I was going to say something.”
Hey! Billionaires have feelings, too, you know. Home Depot co-founder Ken Langone took to CNBC this morning to defend their honor from that bully Barack Obama, who is killing the economy by refusing to literally dance for them while holding pom-poms made of shredded cash: "We need leadership, we need cheerleading, we need encouragement. Businessmen and fat cats need to feel like they're doing something good not that they're villains and not that their criminals."
The presidential candidates have come to Michigan, to do a slick pagan money-sucking dance on CNBC in front of the citizens of one of the more screwed states in the country. It should be great! Oh, and now Tea Party patriarch Rick Santelli will be there, asking questions. Oof. So put some dollar bills in your collar, down a jug of Blue Label, and let's kill some poors — together.
Let's call it the Rich Uncle Pennybags debate. Tonight, Our Losers will square off in their first presidential debate in weeks, hosted by CNBC. It promises to be a banner night for plutocrats, and is intended to focus entirely on economic issues — specifically, how to stop the War on Wealth. What horrors await?
Next week's presidential debate sounds fantastic: It's Republicans, on the rich people channel CNBC, while Wall Street protests are happening all around the country! And this promo from CNBC tells us that the main topic of discussion will be, "how will the candidates end the War on Wealth?" Yes, how? With extermination camps for the poor, or at least the uppity ones? That's the litmus test, candidates.