• Mayor Bloomberg has declared Thursday to be "Burberry Day" in honor of the lighting of the Burberry logo atop the company's new HQ at 444 Madison Avenue. [FWD]
• It looks like the Gianni Versace CEO Giancarlo Di Risio will be departing the company after going head to head with Donatella Versace. [WSJ]
• Italian officials have accused Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana of tax evasion, and have threatened the duo with a $1+ billion fine. [Cut]
• You may want to think twice before you try and squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans. They've been known to cause a nerve condition called "meralgia paresthetica," otherwise known as "tingling thigh syndrome." [MSNBC]
Your favorite former prostitute from New Jersey will be breaking out the bubbly this evening. Ms. Ashley Alexandra Dupre is 24 today. Kirsten Dunst's celebrating, too. She's 27. Columbia University president Lee Bollinger is turning 63. Socialite Allison Sarofim is 41. Former Knicks coach Isiah Thomas is turning 48. Former Bronx Borough President Fernando Ferrer is 59. Socialite Cynthia Lufkin turns 47. Cloris Leachman is 83. Rapper Lloyd Banks is 27. Willie Nelson is turning 76. And David Miscavige, the head of Scientology and the only man who can give Tom Cruise orders, turns 49 today.
Digging around our Otherwordly TV Programming inbox this afternoon, we found just the bit of ephemera we'd been praying for: a spot teasing ABC's Unleached, featuring our experimental dance/comedy idol Cloris Leachman's finest outtakes from her abortive journey on Dancing With the Stars. It's all here — the sassy interviews, the heroic training regimens, her heaving bosom, and pretty much everything else preceding her pyrrhic-victory lap on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Alas, when contacted for additional information, an ABC could confirm only that we'd been duped by creative gag-reel editors from the inside. Cruel, and cruelly unfair at that; we'd watch three seasons of Unleached before watching another hour of CBS's entire fall line-up. Are we wrong? [YouTube]
Cloris Leachman's improbable Dancing With the Stars run concluded Tuesday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the irascible 82-year-old hoofer ultimately settled not long after being ousted from the show's final seven competitors. Ever the gracious host, Kimmel joined her on his stage, Indian-style, for an exit interview combining a heady blend of batshittery, pathos and defiance amounting to a defeated cry for help that not even nine Emmys, a Golden Globe and an Oscar waiting for Leachman at home could quell. Or maybe it's just her final, insolent means of saying, "Suck it, Lucci." Either way, Cloris remains first in our hearts and has a standing invitation to rearrange our furniture any time. Godspeed, girl. [ABC]
♦ Angelina Jolie is either "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's flirtatious relationship with co-star Diane Kruger, or she's completely happy and getting ready for her next adoption in the next few weeks, depending on which tabloid you pick up. [Star, OK!]
♦ Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than any other host on the View, news that probably won't surprise you. [P6]
♦ Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent last weekend at a romantic spa in Arizona. [Star]
♦ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen appeared at a book signing yesterday, but they did not permit fans to talk to them. [P6]
♦ Page Six follows up on the news from three weeks ago and reports Ivanka Trump is converting to Judaism for Jared Kushner. She's attending synagogue regularly, too. [P6]
The indomitable Cloris Leachman's quest to become a Sanjaya-level pox/boon to Dancing with Stars continued last night, and it looks like the 82-year-old has finally hit upon a winning formula. First, Leachman shuffles around, doing little but mugging. Then, just as people begin to tire of her simple soft-shoe, she pulls out the big guns: in this case, allowing partner Corky Ballas to grab one leg and one arm and spin her around in the air, treating all of America to an impressively unexpected upskirt shot.Will it be enough to stave off Leachman's elimination for one more week? We'll find out soon, though to judge from the audience reaction shots afterward, Leachman has already won over two disparate admirers: House Bunny star Anna Faris and Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis. And, as the old saying says, "Where the comediennes and OCD martini olive counters go, so goes the nation."
It's a bad time to be backstage at ABC: not even twenty-four hours after word broke about behind-the-scenes in-fighting at The View, the Chicago Sun-Times is reporting similar agita over at Dancing with the Stars, where the tyrannical Cloris Leachman has proven impossible to send home. It appears the producers and fellow dancers are firmly on Team Florence Henderson, as they're tired of the 82-year-old Leachman evading the ax simply by hamming it up for the cameras. "She has a Quentin Tarantino role to get to," they cry! "Does she need anything else?"
While it wasn't hard to see some of today's blowups coming, we were unprepared for the latest feud to hit Hollywood: Brady Bunch materfamilias Florence Henderson versus resurgent Dancing with the Stars hoofer Cloris Leachman! The 82-year-old Leachman has paso dobled her way into America's hearts over the past few weeks with her patented brand of cussing and cleavage, but to fellow Dancing vet Henderson, that simply isn't how its done! She spilled on her anti-Cloris crusade to Life & Style:
Click to viewBoomp3.com Potential Los Angeles Clippers savior Baron Davis was spotted leaving an event with Kate Hudson on Monday night. Before hoping into his SUV, Hudson jokingly told the baller that if he had signed with the Lakers he could have probably partied with even bigger celebrities like Cloris Leachman or Angelina Jolie. David politely told Hudson that there was nobody bigger than her, then bit his thumb and thought about all the fun he could be having if he wore purple and gold. [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
· Well, Cloris Leachman killed it on Dancing with the Stars last night. We'll now hand the mic over to Bruno, who has a much better way with words on such matters: "The grrrrrandma from hell has become the grrrrand duchess of lussst." · How to Beat Up Anything offers tips on pummeling Tom Hanks. You never know when that might come in handy. · Raffaello Follieri's lawyer asked that his client get three years in prison for his God-swindling crimes, adding, "To say his hopes and dreams of building a thriving business in the United States has been a disaster is an understatement...There is no danger he will ever return to this country." (Unless it's for the Oscars! He has his tux all picked out.) · Quick! What are three of your Favorite Things? Steve Martin, Meryl Streep, and Alec Baldwin you say? Well, guess what? You're about to get a Favorite Things smoothie! · Here's your sneak peek of Patrick Swayze in A&E's The Beast. You know you want it.
The Weinstein Company today announced that Quentin Tarantino's WWII epic Inglorious Bastards has begun principal photography, and the accompanying press release was notable for two reasons. First, the official announcement spells the title as "INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS," aping the misspelling on the title page of the widely-leaked (and poorly spelled) script; does this mean that the film will goose-step into theaters bearing the same appellation? Still, there was one other tidbit tucked into the end of the film's cast roundup that we're shocked to find wasn't the subject of its very own, trumpet-blaring announcement:The 26th and final name listed in the cast? None other than Dancing with the Stars comeback queen Cloris Leachman, who will hopefully revive the German accent that has served her so well in both Young Frankenstein and Broken Lizard's Beerfest. Sure, sure, we're also excited that Goodbye Lenin's Daniel Brühl has been confirmed (he's our bet to succeed Gael Garcia Bernal as the next hot foreign import) and that Mélanie Laurent has been announced as female lead Shoshanna, but let's face it: all other news pales in comparison to the Cloris. Quentin, we eagerly look forward to her paso doble/Batusi dance scene — don't let us down!
· We miss Wonder Showzen: "Raining meat. Just like my nightmares." · Cloris Leachman's amazing year caps off with her appointment as Grand Marshal of the next Rose Parade. That's the power of Cloris 2! · Austin Powers's deadly henchman Random Task has been booked in connection with a 1990 gang rape. The things he can do with that metal hat! · Mr. and Miss J are getting a Top Model spinoff on The CW called Operation Fabulous, which you'll stay home to watch instead of trying out for the football team, crushing your father's dreams in the process. · Strictly for the life-free: The Britney Spears "Womanizer" video will premiere at the end of 20/20 tonight. They're pushing it really hard. Hugh Downs must be rolling in his grave. (He's still alive? Oops.) · Akinator is a genie that can guess any famous character you're thinking of, real or fictional, by asking you 20 questions. First we thought of Spock, and it got it. Then we tried to stump it with Anne of Green Gables. AND IT GOT IT.
Click to viewBoomp3.com The world’s ultimate cougar, Cloris Leachman believes she’s capable of carrying anything after carrying the popular ABC reality dance competition for the last few weeks. Leachman even carried her granddaughter a few blocks over to her car. Leachman said, “Put me on NBC and I’ll carry that network across the finish line, too.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
As far as nightmare-fueling Dancing with the Stars performances go, nothing in the sequence above even approaches Marie Osmond's legendary Baby Doll Dance of Despair—a harrowing journey into wind-up madness that to this day makes our left eyelid twitch whenever we hear the song "Start Me Up" or see the color pink. We'll extend that now to fuchsia, too, as it seems Cloris Leachman's hairpiece-malfunction-plagued rockabilly ballet has already burrowed itself into our subconscious; we hold it singularly responsible for what is sure to be a recurring Busby Berkeley-on-bad-acid fever dream, featuring our worm's-eye view of hundreds of spanky-pants-wearing octogenarians scissor-kicking around us in circle formation.
Hollywood may be a youth-obsessed industry, but that doesn't mean we can't find it in our hearts to celebrate a salty old battle axe like Cloris Leachman. In fact, now that the Oscar-winning octogenarian has been added to the cast of Dancing with the Stars, we may have to start watching with regularity — especially if she continues to curse up a storm on the family show, as she did last night. Presented with what she felt was a low score by judge Carrie Ann Inaba, Leachman muttered an epithet that went unheard by most, but couldn't escape Defamer's crack Profanity Investigation Team. Sounds like someone thinks she's still at the Bob Saget roast! [ABC]
· After being ritually abused by cloddish comedians for nearly two hours at the largely laugh-free roast for Bob Saget (save for Norm MacDonald's tremendous bit) a few weeks back, it was good to see Cloris Leachman getting the last laugh on Dancing With The Stars last night. It goes without saying that we were tremendously shocked to discover the Grand Canyon-esque 82 year-old cleavage that she's been hiding all these years. We were not surprised, however, to learn that her classiness and elegance on the dance floor greatly outweighs that of her much younger competitor, Miss Kim Krash-dashian. [DWTS] · American Psycho ... the musical? We can't wait to see what they do with the showstopping "Hip To Be Square" dance number. [ONTD] · We'll take any and every opportunity we get to reset the "I Can Do 200 Of These" guy. [BWE] · Even Megan Fox's mom is pretty sure that story of hers about her alleged affair with a stripper at The Body Shop is total bullshit ("Is it all true? I don’t know. It’s possible she made it up just like it’s possible that it happened."). [Palm Beach Post] · This ancient commercial for a 1-900 number that you would dial to hear other people can't possibly be real, can it? It can only be described as a Jack Handy "Fuzzy Memories" SNL skit meets Chuck Palahniuk. [Videogum]
At the premiere of The Women, all of the men in attendance were lured away from their dates by the sweet siren song of Cloris Leachman. Leachman, who's slated to compete in the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, swept stars like Warren Beatty and Will Smith off their feet with her erotic tales of old Hollywood. Smith said, "Cloris has to be the ultimate cougar. If I wasn't with Jada, I'd make a serious play at her. Although, Warren might give me a run for my money." When asked about her newfound status as the ultimate cougar, Leachman said, "I would say that I still got it, but the fact of the matter is that I never lost it."
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