Monday morning, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas broke his impressive seven-year courtroom silence with a stupid Yale joke. Or at least that's what people think he said – the official transcriber (somewhat appropriately) failed to record the entire comment, although they did note it produced some laughter.
Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas likes to have sex with two women at the same time! He's also, according to his former lover Lillian McEwen, who has written a book about what it's like to have a three-way with someone who would eventually become a fundamentalist Supreme Court justice, basically a human fucksaw: "McEwen gushes over Thomas' prowess and 'fantasy [package],' describing his body as 'coffee-bean ... velvet-covered cement.'" Rock hard, baby.
Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas and family are "outraged" after his nephew was allegedly punched, pulled and tased at a New Orleans hospital, after a possible suicide attempt. The taser put him into a "massive epileptic seizure." Video below.
"I almost start a mini press riot today at the Supreme Court, so certain am I that Justice Clarence Thomas is about to ask a question for the first time in nearly four years. In a case about indefinite detention for sex offenders, he summons someone to bring forth a law book; he puts on his glasses and reads carefully from the book, then leans forward toward the microphone. To his left, Justice Stephen Breyer looks at him expectantly. I nudge my colleagues on either side and hiss, 'He's gonna do it, he's gonna do it.' We all start craning and gaping. And then Thomas, who hasn't asked a question at oral argument since Feb. 22, 2006, takes off his glasses, tips his head back up against his headrest, and closes his eyes." –Dahlia Lithwick
Selma Blair turns 37 today. Frances McDormand is turning 52. Famed conductor (and Met artistic director) James Levine is 66. Real estate tycoon Jerry Speyer turns 69. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is 61. Dermatologist Nicholas Perricone is also turning 61 today. Jason Mraz is 32. American Idol's Randy Jackson is turning 53. Musician KT Tunstall is 34. The singer Duffy is turning 25. Writer/director Joss Whedon turns 45. Retired soccer star Zinedine Zidane is 37. And Vint Serf, the computer scientist you have to credit for the Internet, turns 66 today.