Arkansas GOP Candidate Endorses Death Penalty to Discipline Rebellious Children

Cord Jefferson · 10/09/12 12:49PM

Charlie Fuqua is a lawyer and former Arkansas state legislator running for reelection on the Republican ticket. He is also, it turns out, a big believer in the Biblical practice of dangling the threat of death over children's heads in order to get them to respect their parents. What a guy!

The Non Sports Fan's Guide to Tim Tebow

Max Read · 01/11/12 03:10PM

Everybody is talking about Tim Tebow. Except for you. Who is Tim Tebow? you're asking yourself, after spending 10 minutes nodding silently while coworkers discussed his game this weekend against the Patriots. (What sport is this? you are probably also asking. For the record: football.) It's okay, non sports fan: here is your exclusive guide to Tim Tebow.

Jesus Returns as Lamb

Hamilton Nolan · 12/27/11 01:00PM

They put up a nativity scene there, in the Holy Land, Ohio, and can you guess what happened? The resurrection, of Jesus, of course.

Africa Is Infested With Christians

Hamilton Nolan · 12/19/11 03:51PM

Christians: where are they hiding these days? There are two billion of the cocksuckers floating around out there. But Richard Dawkins' constant haranguing at various cocktail parties has finally managed to run them out of Europe. From a Pew Center report:

Creepy Christmas Carols for a Less Cheerful Holiday

Max Read · 12/13/11 04:00PM

Christmas is around the corner! Have you caught the Christmas spirit yet? No? Yeah, me neither. It's okay, though: we've collected the our favorite weird, gory, depressing and otherwise deeply creepy Christmas carols for your listening, um, enjoyment.

Horrible Hicks Ban Interracial Couples from Church

Maureen O'Connor · 11/30/11 03:25PM

Just when you think America has achieved a modicum of race-related civility, the dumb fucks of the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church of Pike County, Kentucky vote to ban interracial couples from their church. Quit existing already, you racist hicks.

Rick Perry's Wife: We've Been 'Brutalized' Over Our 'Faith'

Jim Newell · 10/14/11 02:04PM

Rick Perry's wife, Anita, has an explanation for his terrible collapse in presidential polls over the last month: That Perry has been "brutalized," by everyone, over his deep faith to God. This is a questionable assertion!

Rick Perry Teams Up With Jesus to Bring America Jobs

Max Read · 08/06/11 04:01PM

Worried about the U.S. government's recently-downgraded credit rating? Don't be! Texas Governor and possible presidential candidate Rick Perry and 30,000 people just asked Jesus to help out with all of America's problems, and he should be here in an hour or so.

Fox & Friends: Mitt Romney Is 'Obviously' Not a Christian

Jim Newell · 07/18/11 03:11PM

It's probably not a good idea for us to step into the fray of unresolvable intra-wingnut disputes, but this clip from the Sunday version of Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends, excellently displays the social conservatives' main problem with the presidential candidacy of one Willard "Mittens" Romney: He's a Mormon, which the social cons do not merely consider a fake form of Christianity, but not a form of Christianity at all.

Either Jesus or the Star of Your Nightmares Appears on Receipt

Lauri Apple · 07/16/11 12:37PM

Jacob Simmons and Gentry Lee Sutherland, an engaged couple from Anderson County, S.C., believe the man's face that magically appeared on their Walmart receipt is maybe Jesus's face, and therefore a blessing from God. What do you think?

Jesus Appears in Kudzu Near Ma's Hot Dog House

Hamilton Nolan · 06/29/11 04:11PM

Can you guess who has been spotted in Lenoir County, North Carolina? That's right, it's Jesus again, in his familiar "on the crucifix" pose. (Get a new pose already, Jesus!) On toast? No, in kudzu! He is everywhere.