Do you feel that? Those are George Carlin's acid tears falling from heaven. There are some mainstays on the millionaire funny-man list. But there is one depressing shocker. Can you guess who?
It's been more than a decade since Chris Rock first made tabloid headlines when it was reported that he'd had a fling with Monika Zsibrita, a Hungarian model whom he met over Sunday brunch at the Four Seasons in LA. Unfortunately for Rock, the brief liaison has dogged him ever since. Zsibrita later accused him of raping her and suggested he was the father of her child; Rock, in turn, hired Anthony Pellicano to investigate Zsibrita and was forced to testify about his relationship with the disgraced private eye at his wiretapping trial last year. It doesn't appear Rock will be able to put the matter behind him anytime soon. Although no charges were ever filed against Rock—and paternity tests concluded he wasn't the father of her child—Zsibrita slapped Rock with a civil suit last August, claiming that Rock forced himself on her, had dispatched Pellicano to intimidate her, and then had damaged her reputation when he talked about the case on Howard Stern's radio show. (She also disputes the results of the paternity test.) The court documents were sealed when the suit was originally filed last year, but a judge lifted the seal late last week. We've obtained the court papers, and you can have a look at the raunchy allegations for yourself after the jump.
New York City's unofficial first lady, Diana Taylor, is celebrating her 54th birthday today. Hope Mike got you something nice! Others celebrating: Tom Brokaw is turning 69. Former Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove is 54. Henry Blodget is 43. Chef Marc Murphy is turning 40. Axl Rose is turning 47. Journalist/author Michael Pollan is 54. Natalie Cole is 59. Rich Astley is turning 43. And Zsa Zsa Gabor is 92. Weekend birthdays after the jump.
• Mary Louise Parker was the center of attention at the Roundabout Theatre on Sunday for the opening night of her new Broadway show, Hedda Gabler. Parker and her co-stars, Michael Cerveris, Peter Stormare, and Paul Sparks, and the play's director Christopher Shinnas were joined at the play and after-party by Liza Minnelli, Joan Rivers, Blythe Danner, Mamie Gummer, Amy Irving, Billy Stritch, and Tovah Feldshuh. [PMc, Wireimage, GoaG]
• MSNBC is planning to broadcast the inauguration live in 27 movie theaters around the country. The tickets are free; the popcorn and soda are not. [THR]
• The White House has requested 10 to 15 minutes of airtime on Thursday evening so George Bush can give a "farewell address" to the nation. [NYT]
• Chris Rock has signed a book deal with Grand Central Publishing. [PW]
• Is Blake Lively's appearance on the cover of Vogue a bad sign? [NYP]
• Ex-Voice fashion writer Lynn Yaeger will be writing for New York. [NYO]
• Condé Nast has appointed Bill Wackermann to oversee Domino. [MW]
• Comedy Central will begin broadcasting in high definition later this month, just so you can enjoy Carlos Mencia in all his glory. [B&C]