Ayo Chet Haze Isn't Down With Weak Kids Who Kill Themselves

Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/12 10:49AM

So then, let's all, in unison, read this thing written on the Twitter yesterday (and then deleted) by Chet Haze, the best rapping son of an Academy Award winner Northwestern University has seen since Peter Fonda drunkenly performed "My Adidas" on the quad in 1986. This could be Chet Haze's most controversial piece of Twitter wisdom since "What's your sex playlist called? Mines called 'we fuckin' LOL I'm serious tho."

The Collected Wisdom of Chet Haze

Hamilton Nolan · 02/14/12 04:50PM

Here we are six weeks into 2012, and we've barely even stopped to contemplate all of the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding that pours forth from Northwestern University rap star and Tom Hanks scion Chet Haze. We will now remedy that. Below, a thorough review of all of Chet's wisdom shared on Twitter thus far this year. Absorb that shit.

Chet Haze Thanks 'Good Peoplez' of Northwestern For Coming Through with Study Notes

Seth Abramovitch · 12/06/11 11:20PM

[Updated.] Yesterday, we brought you an email sent out at 4 a.m. by a frantic Chet Haze — multi-hyphenate hip-hop impresario/Northwestern junior theater major/Rita Wilson's son — to his entire philosophy class, after realizing he was missing a month's worth of class notes for a term paper due THAT DAY. You've undoubtedly been able to to think of nothing else since.

Urgent! Chet Hanks Needs Help Finishing His Final Paper

Lauri Apple · 12/05/11 07:08AM

A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:

Tom Hanks Talking About His Ass in 'Man Spanx' Is Creepy

Brian Moylan · 06/21/11 02:15PM

While talking about Old People in Love, the new movie he stars in with Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks told Access Hollywood host/animated pool of spray-tan liquid Billy Bush that he used "man Spanx" for a scene that featured his butt in his underwear. This is not a polite subject of conversation!

Chet Haze Is Getting Wacker

Hamilton Nolan · 06/02/11 12:39PM

Hello, America. Chet Haze—Northwestern University's most prominent rapper-actor whose father starred in Turner & Hooch— has released a new track. This one really is some janky, Justin Timberlake-grabs-the-mic-at-the-8th-grade-school-dance type shit. More so than before. Anyhow, enjoy.

Tom Hanks' Son Is a Frat Boy Rapper

Hamilton Nolan · 01/12/11 11:27AM

Chet Hanks is the son of actor Tom Hanks. He attends Northwestern University. Chet Haze is "an up and coming MC...Born and raised on the West Side of the Westside's main city LA." Yes, he has a new Northwestern-themed single.