Putting together a celebrity slideshow isn't for the faint of heart: just ask our own Molly McAleer, whose titanic work in the pursuit of compilations could kill a lesser man (and has — don't ask us about that intern in '06). So how do you survive filling out an eleven-page slideshow when your subject is that most rarest of species: celebrity virgins? Well, if you're an employee at Us Weekly, you cheat a little, padding your list with both non-virgins and non-celebrities alike! Hard-nosed investigative analysis after the jump:
Dawn Eden was a copy editor who got fired from the New York Post for being too conservative. It's true! She wrote a book about not having any sex called The Thrill of the Chaste. It's just been translated into Chinese! Since Dawn so enjoyed our last effort at coming up with alternate titles for her book (oh god we've been doing this a long time), she asked in an email if perhaps we might have some ideas for the alternate title of the Chinese edition. We do! But we can't share them because we're writing our own competing book on how sex is great. For the Chinese title we're thinking The Great Leap Whore-ward. [The Dawn Patrol]
Now that the new season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List has begun, we've had a chance to spend some quality time with the comic and her much-trotted-around billionaire boyfriend, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak. Sure, we know the two have already broken up, but observing them interact—behold the clip above, in which a Segway training session is as tender and romantic as a shared plate of spaghetti in Lady and the Tramp—at least gave us some inkling into what made their much-buzzed about relationship work while it lasted. But now comes the shocking!—OK, not all that shocking—news that Griffin and The Woz never, you know, actually...did it. From usmagazine.com:
An amazing, real item on sale at K-Mart now: "These athletic pants boldly proclaim just where she stands by pointing out that 'True Love Waits' in a large screen print on the front and back of these pants." Abstinence: It's right there on her ass. Click through for the colorful varieties you can order for your teenage daughter:
Top: "Anabel, one of the cheerleaders of the Washington Redskins US football team, removes her helmet to adjust her hair, after landing by helicopter at Patrol Base Dragon, some 20 kilometers (about 12.4 miles) south of Baghdad, Iraq, Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007, where the cheerleaders were to stage a performance for US troops.(AP Photo/Petr David Josek )" Bottom: "U.S. soldier from the 3rd Brigade combat team of 101st Airborne Division, dances with Chastity, one of the cheerleaders of the Washington Redskins US football team, during their show at Patrol Base Dragon, some 20 kilometers (about 12.4 miles) south of Baghdad, Iraq, Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007. (AP Photo/Petr David Josek )"