Paper Cat Will Stop Flicking Paper When He's Good and Ready

Hudson Hongo · 11/14/14 01:00AM

In a perfect world, pets would only indulge in weird pet behavior up until the point it stops being cute and starts being annoying. Of course, we don't live in a perfect world, we live in one that's ruled by passions—those of men and paper-flicking cats alike.

Sobbing Kids Reunite With Their Lost Cat After Two Months

Jay Hathaway · 10/23/14 03:07PM

Maddy the cat went missing two months ago, but her family never entirely gave up hope that she might come home. And then, this: Mom spotted the beloved 13-year-old pet wandering around near a gas station and brought her home for a surprise reunion with the kids.

Hero Cat Saves World From Another Goddamn Fucking Ukulele Cover

Jay Hathaway · 10/15/14 02:05PM

This video has become popular today as a short vignette about how cats are selfish and malicious and constantly interrupting your Important Human Business. Slice of life, right? We can all relate to those wacky cats! They’re annoying as hell, but we love ‘em anyway.

Heartless Couple Sells Home, Throws in Son's Cat for an Extra $140,000

Jay Hathaway · 10/14/14 01:10PM

An Australian couple selling their multi-million-dollar home had a tough decision to make when the buyer refused to close the deal unless he could also have their cat, Tiffany. The Perceval family agreed to the proposal in exchange for an extra $140,000, reported. They don't seem to have any regrets.

Teen Just Wants This Photo of Him and His Cat in the Yearbook

Aleksander Chan · 09/11/14 01:20PM

Draven Rodriguez, a student at Schenectady High School in upstate New York, has a dream for his senior yearbook: that it will include this professional photo of him and his cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, and lasers. "I'm not trying to make any statement," Rodriguez told The Daily Gazette, "other than my photo is ridiculous and this is how I am."

Black Tiger Cub Is Young, Rare, Super-Cute

Jay Hathaway · 08/28/14 05:35PM

Good news for people who love tiger news: This 25-day-old black tiger exists. The unnamed, cute-as-hell cub resides in Hangzhou, eastern China, where it uses a dog as a wet nurse and "owns the color of black due to pseudo-melanism," according to ChinaFotoPress.

Russian Bank Will Give You a Free Cat With Your Mortgage

Adam Weinstein · 08/27/14 01:20PM

Thinking of buying a new home in Moscow Oblast, but still on the fence? Perhaps a cat will convince you. Sign the promissory, take the cat. Look, cute cat! Это красивая кошка! Just hold him for a sec. Awwwwwwwww. Now, do you want a fixed-rate or a 5/1 ARM?

Cat-Eating 12-Foot Python Caught by Florida Police

Aleksander Chan · 08/11/14 08:41AM

Bad news: If your cat went missing in Port St. Lucie, Fla. recently, a 12-foot Burmese python probably ate it. Police have since apprehended the 120-pound snake, which was discovered hiding in waist-high brush, a cat's corpse rotting in an empty lot nearby.

An Old White Man Invented Rap, Claims an Old White Man

Andy Cush · 07/07/14 02:08PM

Andrew Lloyd Webber is the old white man who wrote Cats, the zany musical that took Broadway by storm in the early '80s. T.S. Eliot is the dead old white man who wrote The Waste Land and at least one poem that uses the n-word without apparent irony. According to Webber, Eliot invented rap music.