Cats are known the world over for being evil little shits. And this cat is also an evil little shit. But this cat puts his evil ways to use for the good of all living things, waging war for a thousand generations against flutists. The flute is the thing that is worse than cats, and this good cat, rather than compound his badness by playing the flute, is taking a stand. That puts him on the side of the right. Good cat.
In searching for a Father’s Day present for my stepdad, I hit up all the best sites: Amazon.com, google: “father’s day”, HomeDepot.com, and finally Etsy. While my returns on the first three were lackluster—what’s he going to do with another grill spatula with a light wood handle?—I was surprised to learn that Etsy really came through for a gal in need.
Richard Hovan, a 33-year-old former prep school teacher, is accused of having sex with his 16-year-old student. The two were apparently discovered in 2011 by Hovan's now ex-fiancé, who snapped a photo of the two in flagrante delicto, an open bottle of lube on the table. Hovan testified in Manhattan Supreme Court this week that he couldn't have possibly opened the bottle of lube—but his cat might have. "My cats open the fridge, they open the cabinet, all of those things. I don't know," Hovan said.
"I messed up and accidentally sold my girlfriend's cat," a Portland, Ore., man named Roy Dufek posted on Reddit earlier this month. "While she was at work I helped her out by selling the two beds she had in her apartment because we were going to use my better beds that I had at my house. Little did I know when the cat is scared it hides inside the box spring."