Sex Officially Beats God

Hamilton Nolan · 05/27/10 09:02AM

In 1985, only 55% of women having premarital sex the first time used a contraceptive. Thanks for helping to spawn a large Gawker readership 25 years later, unintentional moms! Nowadays, Americans send a new message with their fucking: Fuck God.

The Quasi-Catholic Sex Cult that Requires Yogurt-Smeared Sex in Public

Maureen O'Connor · 04/22/10 04:11PM

What should excommunicated pervert priests do after their banishments? How about join a "Catholic" sex cult that requires a woman with yogurt-smeared genitals to copulate with her pastor in front of the whole congregation? Meet the Little Pebble church.

Christians Super Pissed about Possible Jesus Penis

Max Read · 04/16/10 02:07AM

Is that a distended abdomen, or are You just happy to see me, Lord? Oklahoma churchgoers are not very pleased with a new crucifix that appears to grant Jesus a rather sizable dick. Crucifixion? More like "Cruci-dick-tion," am I right?

Pedobear Pays a Visit to Pope Ben

Maureen O'Connor · 04/11/10 06:26PM

Two billboards advertising a papal visit to Malta have been defaced with Pedobear. "It is not clear why the artist in question juxtaposed the bears with the Pope," reports the Times of Malta. Let us clear it up.

Scary Crucifixion Rituals Around the World

Maureen O'Connor · 04/04/10 02:21PM

Easter is the best holiday for sadists, as Catholics worldwide bloody themselves imitating the passion of Christ, just like Mel Gibon's torture porno with that name. It's also rural Filipinos' annual season of infamy, for literally nailing themselves to crosses.

Priest in Woman-Liking Scandal

Hamilton Nolan · 05/07/09 01:23PM

A Catholic priest in a sex scandal? Who cares, after everything we've already been through? Well this one is an attractive, popular man, caught with a not-underage woman. Let's condemn his normality!

Nazis Came From Apes: Pope Ratzi's Busy 2009

Pareene · 02/11/09 01:44PM

Joseph Ratzinger's settled in as pope now, and he's really getting down to business with the crazy this year. What's he been up to and how will affect you?