Cat Marnell is a writer whose persona is tightly wound up with her acknowledged drug use. Last March, the book proposal for her tentatively titled memoir How to Murder Your Life, a Basketball Diaries meets The Devil Meets Prada sketch, sold to Simon & Schuster for $500,000. Earlier this week, we received a concerned tip with the subject header: "Cat Marnell almost died the other night."
What seemed like a beautiful partnership that would last forever and never go wrong at any point just a few weeks ago has ended. Artiste of the overshare Cat Marnell and her 18-year-old TEEN publicist, Alex Kazemi, have parted ways. This means Kazemi will no longer run Marnell's Twitter. For now, any bickering that takes place on it will be between Marnell and Marnell.
Writer and fame sculptor Cat Marnell is too busy getting paid more than most people to write her memoir, so she has hired 18-year-old Alex Kazemi to handle her "publicity." (He's not pictured above; that's Riff Raff. He's not organized enough to be anyone's publicist but his own and even that seems accidental.) This partnership was announced via TwitLonger:
1. Be ready to explain to your Glamorous Drug Addict that the storm is really bad and that even though it looks like just a little rain, their life will be upended for a significant amount of time. Most Glamorous Drug Addicts usually don't pay attention to these sort of potentially cataclysmic events unless a tree falls on top of them. And, yes, they probably should have closed their windows before they left their apartment, but, no, it's probably not worth driving over the bridge to shut them because most of the other vehicles in the East Village appear to be underwater. Wait for them to process this information and brace for the temporary stress it has caused.
XO Jane went through a lot of serious drama when they had to part ways with dust-smoking suicidal narcissist downtown swinger beauty columnist Cat Marnell, after they had sucked every last car-wreck-in-action page view that they reasonably could from her while still maintaining a decent Caring Big Sister posture. But there's good news, desperate readers: XO Jane has an equally depressed suicidal beauty writer to serve as Marnell's spiritual successor.