Remembering Robert Potter, the North Carolina Castrater, Idiot of Yesteryear

Andy Cush · 05/19/16 10:17AM

Welcome to Idiots of Yesteryear, a new series wherein we’ll remember the klutzes, cretins, and bumbling dunderheads who populate the cobwebbed dunce’s corners of the American past. In this great nation, for every gallant General Washington, who could not tell a lie, there is a doofy George W. Bush, who could not finish chewing a pretzel before trying to swallow it. Here, we will celebrate the blowhards, the two-timers, and the wretched scamps; we will honor the feckless morons and malevolent jerks who made our great nation in their images. Forgotten morons of history, we salute you.

Police Thwart Plot to Murder and Castrate Justin Bieber

Taylor Berman · 12/12/12 08:46PM

According to KRQE, two hit men from New Mexico were arrested as part of an elaborate plot to murder and castrate Justin Bieber last month. The plot was reportedly hatched in a New Mexico prison, where convicted murderer and rapist Dana Martin recruited then-fellow inmate Mark Aaron Staake to carry out the gruesome crime (which was to involve strangulation with a paisley tie, apparently Martin's calling card) along with three other similar murders.

Man Castrates Teen Daughter's 57-Year-Old Boyfriend

Max Read · 12/13/10 11:10PM

A German man was frustrated with the police's inability to stop his 17-year-old daughter from seeing her 57-year-old boyfriend. So he took matters into his own hands, and cut off the boyfriend's balls with a bread knife.