Hamilton Nolan · 12/17/14 11:26AM

The FDA is warning consumers to "avoid using pure powdered caffeine." Ehhh... no.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/05/13 11:03AM

"Your [morning] coffee will probably be the most effective if you enjoy it between 9:30 AM and 11:30 AM, when your cortisol levels are dropping before the next spike."

Kids Need More Coffee and Less Ritalin

Hamilton Nolan · 08/09/13 11:21AM

Kids these days are straight up zooted and bouncing off the emergency room walls, thanks to copious supplies of Adderrall and Ritalin and all the other ADHD drugs that they got from you. (They learned it by watching you, okay?) If we'd simply been giving our kids Vivarin this whole time, none of this would have happened.

Might the Coffee Nerds Be Right?

Hamilton Nolan · 05/13/13 04:10PM

It must be said right up front: coffee is a utilitarian beverage that exists mainly to wake you up. Therefore, treating coffee as some delicate wine-like treat that can only be appreciated by a select group of gourmands is absurd. Or is it?

Motivation Is Easy

Hamilton Nolan · 07/23/12 09:00AM

When I'm out on the "lecture circuit" (out back of the 7-11), I'm always hearing you sad sack types whining about why you just can't get in shape. "I don't know how to get motivated," you sad sack types whine. "I don't have the motivation," you continue. It makes me so sick I just want to vomit out the 36-ounce Red Bull I just drank—for motivation!

Coffee Drinkers Live Longer. Who Cares, Really?

Hamilton Nolan · 05/17/12 09:10AM

A new study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that over a 13-year period studied, there "was a significant inverse association between coffee consumption and mortality," meaning that people who drank coffee had a lower risk of death, particularly from "heart disease, respiratory problems, strokes, injuries and accidents, diabetes and infections."

Should We All Be Doing Inhalable Caffeine, or What?

Hamilton Nolan · 02/20/12 09:47AM

The FDA is going to investigate whether the "Aeroshot" canisters of inhalable caffeine are actually safe. When you hear about widely available and totally unregulated drugs like this that are available with absolutely no medical supervision whatsoever to any kid who wanders into a convenience store, it makes you ask: is that stuff any good?

How Much Coffee Is Safe?

Max Read · 12/01/11 06:45PM

"How much coffee is safe?" the BBC wonders, before letting us know that "the advice is much less clear-cut." Psh! We can tell you how much coffee is safe.