Prediction: Burger King Japan's Red Cheeseburger Will Be Pretty Good

Jay Hathaway · 06/17/15 11:15AM

Last year, Burger King Japan brought back its bizarre Kuro Burger—a black burger with black sauce and black cheese—for the third year in a row. I ate it, and it tasted slightly better than it looked (not saying much). The Kuro Burger is coming back again this year, but BK Japan is also trying out a new freakshow sandwich: The AKA (Red) Samurai burger, featuring a blood-red bun and cheese, and red ANGRY sauce.

Alice Cooper Inducted Into the White Castle Hall of Fame

Dayna Evans · 07/08/14 09:25AM

If there's anything Alice Cooper loves, it's eyeliner. A close second for the 66-year-old musician are burgers that are about half the size of regular burgers, the kind that many call "sliders." So it was an honor for Cooper when he was inducted into White Castle's Craver Hall of Fame on Monday.

Burgers For Breakfast, Because Nothing Really Matters

Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/14 08:15AM

Burger King today announced that it will serve its burgers for breakfast now, as part of their new corporate philosophy, "Why try harder than absolutely necessary when the American people want nothing more than to eat themselves into oblivion to erase the pain of being locked into this zombie-like existence?"

Everywhere to Be a Sonic

Hamilton Nolan · 04/17/14 10:37AM

Sonic, a fast food chain that differentiates itself by delivering garbage directly to your parked car, plans to expand into every last empty lot in the United States of America.

McDonald's Introduces $15 Bucket-O-Everything

Hamilton Nolan · 09/10/13 08:43AM

A new season is dawning, and with it, a new craving in America's soul. A craving for sustenance. A new kind of sustenance. Or, more accurately, a "comically large quantity of McDonald's food items" kind of sustenance.

Bootleg Cronuts Are Poisoning People in Canada

Caity Weaver · 08/21/13 01:05PM

As bloody political turmoil continues to rain down violence and chaos in Egypt, things are pretty crazy in the Western Hemisphere, too, where everyone wants a cronut. Some people are so desperate to put a cronut in their mouths and chew it and swallow it, they're even buying off-brand: a croissant dusted with cinnamon sugar—that's a cronut; a Pillsbury popover drizzed with simple syrup—that's a cronut; a Big Mac container that says "CRONUT" in marker with water sprinkled over it—that's a cronut. Now Canadian news outlets are reporting that at least 12 people suffered stomach pain, vomiting, and diarrhea after consuming so-called "cronut burgers" at the Canadian National Exhibition, an annual fair in Toronto.

Please Watch This Wendy's Training Video From The '80s. It Is Gold.

Max Rivlin-Nadler · 08/17/13 03:49PM

Where to begin? This training video for cooks-in-training at Wendy's in the '80s features not only a hard-rockin' theme song, but an actual scene where a burger cook-in-training gets sucked into a television and rapped to about how to best cook a burger.

America Demands Slightly More Expensive Burgers

Hamilton Nolan · 09/26/11 12:36PM

Americans are not the sort of slobs who are satisfied with simply consuming a drab, tasteless burger in a hobo-infested fast food restaurant hastily rebranded as a "cafe." Americans are the sort of slobs who want their burgers fast—but casual. Americans want a slightly wider selection of toppings available on their burgers, and they want to consume those burgers in a very slightly more attractive setting than a Burger King bathroom. Americans demand this!

Texas Restaurant "Fat Ho Burgers" Is Pissing Off the Neighbors

Blair Baxter · 03/25/11 11:10AM

The hottest new restaurant in Waco, Texas is a local burger joint called Fat Ho Burgers. The owner, 23-year-old Lakita Evans, is just trying to bring her sense of humour to the table, but the neighboring restaurant the Gospel cafe is not getting the joke.

Live Fast, Die Old

Hamilton Nolan · 03/24/08 10:38AM

In January, Carl Karcher, the founder of the fast food chain Carl's Jr., died at the age of 90. In February, Lovie Yancey, the founder of Fatburger, died at the age of 96. And just yesterday, Al Copeland, the founder of Popeyes Fried Chicken, died at the age of 64. Which is not bad for a man with a lifetime diet of fried chicken! Does this mean that 2008 is a deadly year for our beloved fast food entrepreneurs? No, it means that fast food will keep you alive well past the expected time of your demise. Honor their memories with greasy meat. [Tabloid Baby]