Burger King Is Not King Anymore, Now This Pig Is King

Kelly Conaboy · 04/03/15 02:04PM

Roger Waters once wrote, "Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are." Was he talking about this pig who took over a Burger King in southwestern Pennsylvania on Thursday morning? He wasn't—he was talking about capitalism, or something about how you shouldn't trust authority, or maybe social inequality. Still, though, check out this pig.

Hamilton Nolan · 08/14/14 01:40PM

Burger King is quietly phasing out its lower-calorie "Satisfries" after less than a year, because—let's face it—this is America.

Woman Threatens to Shoot up Burger King over Stale Cinnamon Roll

Kelly Conaboy · 05/17/14 02:30PM

Police in South Carolina say that a woman threatened to shoot everyone in a Burger King restaurant after she was served a stale cinnamon roll. (Shocking not only because of the obvious, but also because "stale cinnamon roll" is still a fairly appetizing phrase.)

Burgers For Breakfast, Because Nothing Really Matters

Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/14 08:15AM

Burger King today announced that it will serve its burgers for breakfast now, as part of their new corporate philosophy, "Why try harder than absolutely necessary when the American people want nothing more than to eat themselves into oblivion to erase the pain of being locked into this zombie-like existence?"

Behold: The Hands-Free Whopper Holder

Max Rivlin-Nadler · 06/02/13 10:18AM

Don't you hate it when you want to eat your mouth-watering Burger King Whopper, but find that your pesky hands are doing something else entirely?