The world's next Superman, Brandon Routh, paid a recent visit to a young leukemia victim at a Des Moines children's hospital, according to the Des Moines Register. Refreshingly, no mention of the actor's ample package is referenced in the report, though they do note that he brought his girlfriend along, throwing some Kryptonite on the gay super-rumors that have plagued the unknown actor since he landed the role:
The attention being lavished on new Superman Brandon Routh's Package of Steel™ has escalated from occasional tabloid scrutiny to full-blown press tour. Perhaps sensing that Routh's carefully engineered, now-infamous superjunk is the most compelling thing about the actor, the evil masterminds of Warner Bros. dispatched him to the WonderCon convention in San Francisco, where the topic of geek discussion quickly turned to the relative rigidity of the obsessed-about codpiece:
Sometimes, when you are dogged with rumors, the best response is to simply give the people what they want. Brandon Routh, the next Superman, has been accused of everything from being director Bryan Singer's private boytoy to packing a Superbulge so distracting, it sent special effects coordinators scurrying off to invent new crotch-reduction technologies. Here, Routh gamely addresses both stories head-on, joined in a touching show of support by Yankees manager Joe Torre (who undoubtedly can sympathize with the gay rumor thing). Both proudly hold aloft a gigantic, flaming phallus, as if to say, "Perhaps I am on fire. And perhaps I am hung like Brontosaur! What of it? Live and let live!"
Pity Brandon Routh, the actor plucked from obscurity, liberally greased up, and squeezed into Superman's blue tights by director Bryan Singer. Warner Bros. is spending untold millions on the Superman comeback movie, Routh's Big Break, and all anyone can talk about is how painstakingly the costume department calibrated the Man of Steel's package: