Hargrave Custom Yachts doesn't just make the best customized yachts we know of (disclaimer: it's the only customized yacht company we know of)—it also follows the zeitgeist like a Minnesota babysitter follows a porny plot-line. Hence its astute observation that in today's America, yachts are no longer mere luxuries but required for survival.
Throwing your annoying kid off a barge isn't funny. Explaining why you threw your kid off a barge, however, is a great opportunity for jokes! Here is Sloan Briles, the Californian charged with felony child endangerment after throwing his 7-year-old off a sightseeing boat, explaining himself to a local news station.
Sure, at one time or another we've all wanted to hurl our annoying child into to the violent sea's foamy maw, where no amount of petulant whining will save them from Poseidon's cold embrace. Particularly on one of those "sightseeing cruises." Ugh, have you been subjected to those? Talk about Supposedly Fun Things I'll Never Do Again, amirite? It's enough to make anyone cast their spawn into the deep. Still, you shouldn't.
Divers off the coast of North Carolina recovered the third-largest anchor from what's believed to be the remains of the pirate Blackbeard's ship, Queen Anne's Revenge. It's 11 feet and four inches long (seven feet, seven inches wide), and covered — as you can see — with gross ocean stuff. No word on whether or not it's haunted.
Regular fails are fun, but adding the element of water really adds insult to injury.
On her way home from medical treatment for breast cancer, Alaska state Rep. Sharon Cissna underwent a TSA body scan at the airport in Seattle. Agents then ordered a pat-down of the state representative after noticing her mastectomy on the scan, says her chief-of-staff. Cissna, who is a Democrat, decided to leave the airport and take a 12-hour boat ride from Seattle to Juneau, instead.
We're pretty sure they meant to use the truck to launch a boat into the water and not the boat to launch a truck into the water.
The cameraman and crowd see this seagull coming from afar, but the man with the eclair refuses to budge - daring any animal to come take a bite out of his delicious, delicious eclair. Silly man, seagulls have no fear.