The One About the Vampire-Penis Ad Exec

Hamilton Nolan · 05/12/11 03:36PM

Hey, how about a totally unsubstantiated crazytown story, from the internet? It's about an advertising executive's penis! Oh, now you're interested. Well then, fine.

Rolling Stone's True Blood Cover: Gross Vampire Threesome

Max Read · 08/17/10 09:07PM

Rolling Stone has a cover story about HBO's vampire-sex show True Blood, and for the photo... well, they got stars Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgard and Stephen Moyer naked, and then... uh, they seem to have sprayed them with fake blood.

Touched Anything? Get an H.I.V. Test.

Hamilton Nolan · 06/16/10 12:15PM

Crazy ladies fear AIDS! Vuvuzela dangers! Tuberculosis rampant! Cell phone radiation! Skinny blood! Skinny sex! Sexy diets! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while smearing ourselves with disinfectant!

Your Forecast for Summer: 'Mosquito Emergency'

Max Read · 05/31/10 09:40PM

A rainy spring in the northeast was "the perfect storm for mosquitoes," who breed in standing water left after rainstorms. Can't wait! To avoid painful mosquito bites, we recommend not having any blood in your body. [Fox]

Grenade Ping-Pong Pussifies Us All

Mike Byhoff · 12/11/09 03:01PM

If one were to rank the most hardcore, insane sports in the world: Hunting humans would finish second, followed by extreme curling in a close third. Number one? Number one, with a bullet, is grenade ping-pong.