"Jack Flack" at Portfolio.com is one of a small handful of bloggers who writes things that are interesting and intelligent about corporate PR. One of his trademark constructions is "Parsing XYZ," where he takes some statement or speech or press release full of corporate doublespeak and decodes it. I identify him so closely with that stuff that I even gave him credit the last time I used the word "Parsing!" But not so for the Wall Street Journal, which ran a column last weekend with a premise virtually identical [see update also, below] to an earlier Jack Flack column:
So Star magazine editor-at-large Julia Allison threatened to out the anonymous blogger behind Reblogging Julia, but did not. Then we heard that ABC News was on the case. Well, not so much. "For life bloggers like Allison, who electronically post intricate details of their lives in the blogsophere, it is to be expected that not everyone who reacts to these blogs will like what they're saying, several Internet experts say." Internet experts-saying things! Can't breathe!
The hounds are closing in on the catty anonymous blogger who tracks the every move and saying of Julia Allison, the Star magazine talking head and reality TV star in the making. Allison, who says she's too scared of her online "stalker" to expose the person's identity, will say only that her critic is a fortysomething Seattle lawyer, divorcée—and Gawker commenter. But we hear ABC News is on the trail.
Erica Jong says Matt Taibbi wants to fuck his mom! But he can't, so instead he channeled that desire into print by calling Hillary Clinton's arms "flabby." It's all part of the feminist author Jong's theory of "Misogyny, Momism, and Militarism," which she chronicled on the Huffington Post. "Momism is a kind of Oedipal obsession with the bad mother — to counter a boy's attraction to his good mother...You cannot fuck your mother so you must revile her," she explains. Taibbi, the angry Rolling Stone writer who is the most entertaining political journo in America, surprisingly took offense to Jong's logical inference that his use of an accurate adjective in a magazine story pointed to his own desire for incest. So he replied: you're an old, ignorant hack, Erica Jong!
The editors at Guanabee.com made the mistake of engaging gay porn star-turned-conservative commentator Matt Sanchez in a dialog about his recent war against gay Gawkerdom and other causes. It only takes one answer from Sanchez to prompt the response "We're not really sure what the hell that meant." He then goes on to lie, babble non-sequiturs, and spout right-wing platitudes that he seems to have selected only for their outrageousness. But we're done being outraged by Matt Sanchez; we feel kind of sorry for him now. He could probably use a good therapist. After the jump, the interview's convoluted highlights.
You may have had your fill of ex-soldier and gay porn star-turned-conservative blogger and commentator Matt Sanchez yesterday. I certainly did; it took us three posts to explain why he thinks all Gawker contributors are gay, why gay jihadis are threatening the streets of Chelsea, and the intricacies of the Gawker-NYT-Gay Agenda. But while most of you could retire from the subject at will, I couldn't. Matt Sanchez has my email address. And he continued to send me emails—five emails—after I had already shut down for the day. His messages aren't as angry as you might expect. They're just weird, and seem like some sort of public display of willful retardation and self-delusion. It's hard to tell, really. Below, the extra Matt Sanchez emails, from 6:30-10:30 last night. No mas!
"The Gawker is the modern day version of Playgirl, a 'straight' publication gay men feel good about buying because they're tired of low quality faggy stuff the pink media puts out." That's former gay porn star and current conservative blogger Matt Sanchez's take, and no facts will get in the way of his analysis! We asked Sanchez, who believes all contributors to Gawker are homosexual, to comment on today's post about all the gays working at the New York Times. And the former Freshmen magazine cover model blows the doors off liberal media lies such as "the Gawker's stance that it is a non-gay website"!
We didn't want to just let conservative blogger and gay porn veteran Matt Sanchez's unprovoked gay-cusations against all of Gawkerdom sit out in the blogosphere with no explanation. So we emailed him to get some clarity on his position. His first response to us: "The gawking subtleties of propaganda. The beleaguered gay activist is so sensitive and marginalized, that the only way to feel normal is to call everyone else defective. Can there be any wonder why a social subset with a life expectancy 20 years less than the majority of Americans is so bitterly suicidal?" Ha, WHAT? We didn't give up on understanding his subtle philosophy, though; we pressed him for the basis of his gay obsession. And he sent us not only a new picture of himself (pictured!) but these deeper thoughts on "gay jihadis" like YOU:
A certain right-wing blogger has a question for us, via email: "Are all of the contributors to Gawker homosexuals, because there's a level of superciliousness that must be directly tied to sexual frustration and the inability to bond with other human beings." Whoa! We'll have him know that Gawker employs a veritable handful of heterosexuals. This guy was ostensibly upset that our coverage of Absolut's pro-Mexico ad (which the company has now apologized for) was not quite xenophobic enough. But what led this Republican internet soldier to target us in our vulnerable gay spot? It's probably his own past as a gay porn star—that does have a tendency to color one's perceptions.