What in the Internet World Is Cyber Monday Anyways? A Guide

MTanzer · 11/25/12 12:54PM

Tomorrow is Monday, but not just any regular old Monday, it's Cyber Monday. No that's not a Monday to spend all day at work cyber sexing with strangers on the Internet. Did you really think that's what it was? Ugh, explaining the Internet is so hard.

There's a Riot Goin' On: This Year's Craziest Black Friday Videos All Come From Walmart

Jordan Sargent · 11/23/12 11:31AM

Black "Friday" has been terrorizing America for at least the past 24 hours, and videos of Walmart shoppers tearing at store displays like lions shredding an antelope have begun to hit YouTube. The video you see above shows two separate incidents of people nearly crushing each other as they ravage for phones and things. If you close your eyes for a few seconds at any point, it sounds like you're watching Cloverfield.

How Will You Defeat Black Friday?

Caity Weaver · 11/20/12 04:45PM

With Black Friday a mere three days away (two, if you go by Target's definition of "Friday"), many people are already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of leaving their homes, walking into a store, and purchasing the goods they find therein.

Where to Find Your Wal-Mart Black Friday Protests

Hamilton Nolan · 11/20/12 01:30PM

Knick-knack monster Wal-Mart is facing an uncharacteristically well-organized worker strike this Friday, on what is one of the busiest shopping days of the year. The company is scared enough to try to get the NLRB to tell the company's own employees they can't protest. Since we can't imagine that that long-shot attempt at crushing dissent will be successful, you should be ready for Wal-Mart Black Friday: Protest Edition.

How To Make It Through Thanksgiving

Mallory Ortberg · 11/20/12 12:14AM

This upcoming Thanksgiving week will be a long one and difficult, although hopefully it will not be without its bright spots for each of you. Some things you must resign yourself to now: you will almost certainly end up purchasing your own weight in electronics on Black Friday, if not being used as part of a human battering ram to entire the local big box store at 2:00am. You will do so knowing that the person selling you these electronics has probably been forced to sell his or her children as indentured servants to Wal-Mart in exchange for a bathroom break.

Holiday Shopping Tip: Beware Hidden Needles at Wal-Mart

Seth Abramovitch · 11/30/11 11:48PM

Say what you will about Cyber Monday and the surge of online consumerism in the days that follow — it does tend to remove an element of risk from the holiday shopping experience. For example, there's an almost zero percent chance that you'll accidentally stab yourself with a hypodermic needle while browsing brassieres at Wal-Mart if you buy those brassieres with a computer.

Was the Wal-Mart Pepper Sprayer Acting in Self Defense?

Seth Abramovitch · 11/29/11 04:12AM

The most reviled woman in America at the moment is without a doubt the Wal-Mart pepper sprayer, whose cold, bald avarice eclipsed all other Black Friday crimes. (The most reviled woman in the U.K. is this one, but that's another story.) Yet despite turning herself in to police, she still walks freely among us. Why? Could there be any doubt as to her culpability? We've all seen the video capturing the moment, in which we can clearly make out, uh, a bunch of people screaming in a Wal-Mart?

Black Friday Shoppers Step Over Man Who Lay Dying on the Floor

Lauri Apple · 11/27/11 03:22PM

Black Friday shoppers at a West Virginia Target did not allow collapsed-and-dying man Walter Vance to disturb their holiday shopping experience. They simply walked around or stepped over him, before somebody else swept up all those cheap towels and soap dishes.