30,000 Idiots Bought Boxes of Actual Shit for $6 on Black Friday

Andy Cush · 12/15/14 05:35PM

Are you one of the 30,000 thirsty rubes who were lucky enough to score the Cards Against Humanity Bullshit Box before it sold out on Black Friday? Congratulations: you are a reprehensible human being, and you got exactly what you deserved.

Let's Keep the Friday in Black Friday, Our True Family Holiday

David Turner · 11/26/14 04:25PM

I remember sitting at the table with my parents, my father's parents and his brother, my mother's sister, and a couple of other people whose exact connection to our family I was too young to glean. The only image of Thanksgiving I had at the time, it quickly became the ideal for the holiday, which all others would be compared. Whatever conversations happened around the table were beyond my grasp, and I wasn't adventurous enough to try every food in front of me, but the warmth of family stuck with me.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/26/14 02:16PM

If you would like to celebrate the execrable American tradition of "Black Friday" by protesting Walmart, here is where you can find the protest that will happening closest to you.

Women Give Up Three Weeks of Life to Wait for Cheap Best Buy TVs

Aleksander Chan · 11/13/14 02:16PM

Vicky Torres and Juanita Alva parked themselves outside of a Beaumont, Ca. Best Buy last week so they can be the first in line for the store's Black Friday sale. They're likely sitting out there right now, in their folding chairs. "We're good to go," Torres told KABC.

Lacey Donohue · 11/29/13 05:34PM

Why trample someone on Black Friday when you can use a stun gun? There's now a video of a woman at the Franklin Mills Mall in Northeast Philadelphia zapping someone while shopping at 2:30 a.m.

​Tell Us About Your Crazy Black Friday Experience

Lacey Donohue · 11/29/13 03:00PM

It's Black Friday 2013 and Walmart sales are up, Walmart shoppers are down, online sales continue to grow, and the working poor can't even afford to buy the discounted goods they're selling. No matter where you are in the United States, it's hard to escape the reach of the shopping madness, something everyone pretends to hate until they have a bargain-priced new television in their family room.

Lacey Donohue · 11/29/13 12:20PM

Some Black Friday fights at Walmart are worth fighting. Workers are currently protesting the high cost of the company's low wages in 1,500 protests across the country. A protester dressed as Santa has already been arrested in Ontario, Calif.

Lacey Donohue · 11/29/13 10:53AM

A Las Vegas man was shot Thursday evening while carrying a big-screen TV home from a Target store. According to the Associated Press, the victim will survive but it's "unclear what happened to the TV."

Lacey Donohue · 11/29/13 09:42AM

[Shoppers spend their Thanksgiving evening relaxing with loved ones at the Brea Mall in Brea, Calif. The mall opened at 8:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving and will stay open until 10:00 p.m. Friday. Photo by Jae C. Hong via AP]

The Turkey Beast of Thanksgiving Eve: A Poem

Ken Layne · 11/27/13 01:33PM

Thanksgiving Eve had come again,
Outside a blustery chill.
A tiny boy of six years old,
Came crashing down the hill.
The leaves did scatter, brown and orange.
How fearsome was the sight:
Of Franklin Tom, the Turkey Beast,
Screeching in the night.