Some considered President Obama's decision to release his birth certificate last week a fool's errand, since those who didn't think he was born in the United States wouldn't ever respond to more definitive evidence. It still may have been a silly argument to engage — that press conference of him showing his papers will always seem beyond surreal, if not plain depressing. But now a whole 70 percent of Americans believe he was born in Hawaii! You know what that means: This issue is coming dangerously close to something that we'll never have to write about again.
Newsweek/Daily Beast celebupundit Andrew Sullivan really, really wants to see Trig Palin's birth certificate, thinks Obama should have released his earlier, and has lots of righteous things to say about how real reporters demand to see documents. Funny thing—we're trying to get documents about you, Andrew! Care to help?
Barack Obama was definitely born in Hawaii. How do we know this is true? Because CNN says so. "Period." The network traveled to the state where Obama was allegedly born in 1961 and spoke with Dr. Chiyome Fukino ("a former director of the Hawaii Department of Health and a Republican") who said Obama's live birth certificate is legit, and that "he was absolutely born here in the state of Hawaii." A Republican even says so. Case closed.
What were we all thinking these past few completely hilarious weeks as we watched NBC television character Donald Trump become America's most prominent and vigorous birther? It seemed like he was driving the issue with maximum enthusiasm, as though it was the only issue that mattered to him and should matter to anyone, and that he wouldn't rest until the mystery of Obama's birth was settled. Yet it turns out that he never really wanted to talk about this stuff — it was the idiots in the media who kept asking him about it. He wants to talk about China!
Here's your daily afternoon video of vomit-faced dandy Donald Trump saying something hilarious in his pretend run for president!
In rather unsurprising news from America's dry, crackly grundle, lawmakers in Arizona last night passed the Trump-approved House Bill 2177, which requires any presidential candidate to show proof of his or her U.S. citizenship before being added to the state's ballot. Governor Jan Brewer will have five days to sign the bill into law.
America's festering cauldron of endless misery and abandoned housing tracts, Arizona, is back in the national political news. Don't click away yet! The state is merely trying to ensure that certain biracial Kenyan-Indonesian presidential candidates aren't hiding their shameful biracial Kenyan-Indonesian births when they run for office, okay? So let's take a look at the Donald Trump-endorsed "Arizona Birther Bill," which passed the state Senate yesterday.
Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin believes President Obama was born in Hawaii. She said so just yesterday! But even so, she "appreciates" failed businessman Donald Trump's (very public) quest to discover the president's true origins.