Catholic Ladies All Taking Birth Control on the Sexy Sly

Hamilton Nolan · 04/14/11 04:34PM

Boner pills! Cellphone cancer! Hospital infections! Leukemia drugs! Stillborn babies! Diet memory! Bipolar celebrities! Stank medications! And sexxxy news from 'neath the robes of Catholic womendom! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—against god's wishes!

Free Birth Control Pills (Maybe) Coming Soon

Jeff Neumann · 10/31/10 01:51PM

This is going to sit well with Republicans: Next month a panel will meet to discuss the possibility of providing women with free contraception under the health care bill. Excellent news! The TV pundit yelling matches should be great. [AP]

Evangelical DA Threatens Jail for Sex Ed Teachers

Jeff Neumann · 04/09/10 07:01AM

Upset that Wisconsin high schools are teaching comprehensive sex ed to students, Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth says he will prosecute anyone who follows a state law that requires schools to teach students about contraception. Progressivism is destroying America!

Teen Mom, Where Hindsight is Always 20/20

Mike Byhoff · 12/30/09 01:40PM

Oy. The rollercoaster of a train wreck of a nuclear meltdown that is Teen Mom continues to slowly crush our souls. This week: more fighting, more advice, and a whole lot of regret.

Dumb, Kids

Hamilton Nolan · 12/29/09 12:41PM

Half of men who get vasectomies never get a follow-up test done to make sure their vasectomies worked. Those men are more likely to be "not highly educated and the fathers of four or more children." [Businessweek. Pic: WTFDYHAK]

Get Off The Pill, Make More Pole Dancin' Money

abalk · 10/03/07 01:20PM

Hey, strippers, wanna max out your earnings? Stop taking birth control! That's the conclusion drawn from a recent University of New Mexico study showing that exotic dancers "made about $70 an hour during their peak period of fertility, versus about $35 while menstruating and $50 in between." Pill-popping pole performers, however, averaged almost twenty dollars less than their nonspermicidal-wombed colleagues, which the study suggests is a result of the pill's "hormonal cues indicating early pregnancy." To research this very important subject, psychologist Geoffrey Miller "tapped the talent at local gentlemen's clubs and counted tips made on lap dances," which, to us at least, makes Geoffrey Miller perhaps the greatest psychologist ever. If you can convince someone to shell out grant money so you can spend your afternoons hanging out with Dakota and Stormee at the Titty Trap you are pretty much tops in your (or any) field.