Evil Triumphs: Satanic Birds Attack Pope's Peace Doves

Dayna Evans · 01/26/14 11:15AM

In the Vatican earlier today, two peace doves were viciously attacked by a crow and a seagull when they were set free by Pope Francis from a window at Apostolic Palace. We've spent countless years of our precious time on this planet debating over whether evil would triumph over good, whether the Dementors would eventually find us, and if birds—despite our blame in their pitiful helplessness—were actually hotblooded, malevolent predators searching fiendishly to corrupt their own.

Snowy Owls Leave Arctic To Invade Frozen America

Ken Layne · 01/09/14 01:59PM

In normal times, the arctic bird of prey known as the Snowy Owl stays up north, feasting upon the flesh of lemmings. But these are not normal times, so the owls have come south with the terrible arctic weather. "They are just absolutely everywhere and there's a lot more coming," says an expert who knows about the owls.

Why Don't You Go Live in a Human-Sized Bird Nest You Big Fucking Bird

Caity Weaver · 06/20/13 12:56PM

According to the New York Times, a human newspaper definitely not written by birds, one cool thing that humans like to do nowadays is build giant bird nests to sleep in. Walking to a neighbor's house instead of flying there, eating normal human food besides seeds, and constructing humongous bird nests out of twigs— all things we humans do so often we don't even have to remind ourselves constantly to check and make sure we're doing them so as not to draw attention to ourselves.

Hamilton Nolan · 10/29/12 02:25PM

Where do birds go during a storm? I wonder.

Jobs That Exist: Eagle Inspector

Caity Weaver · 04/25/12 08:12PM

According to today's Reuters story about eagle inspections by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, if there's one thing the U.S. needs, it's more dead-but-not-rotten eagles.

Yes, There Are Two Penguins in First Class on This Airplane

Max Read · 03/09/12 11:50AM

Here's a video of two penguins — Pete and Penny — chilling in first class on a flight from Atlanta to New York, where they were guests at the premiere of Discovery Channel's documentary Frozen Planet. I'm thinking there are two joke possibilities here: something about "flightless birds" and something about how of course penguins would be in first class; they're always wearing tuxedos. Mostly, though, I think all planes should have penguins. [via Yahoo]

Will Science Survive Without Killing Monkeys?

Hamilton Nolan · 12/15/11 04:09PM

Chimp research! Bird safety! Nemo extinction! Raptor claws! Rat acid! Alkali oceans! Lemur meat! Dolphin jetpack! And real talk words of wisdom about our current chemistry debates! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—with compassion!

Record-Breaking Oklahoma Quake Causes Freaky Mass Bird, Bug Flight

Max Read · 11/06/11 09:05AM

Oklahoma got hit by a record-breaking 5.6-magnitude earthquake last night—its second in as many days—and while there were no injuries or major damages, it could be felt as far away as Wisconsin. And as if two earthquakes in Oklahoma wasn't end-days enough, here's a video from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. That big green splotch? That's all the birds and bugs in the area taking to wing in numbers so big they got picked up by the radar. [NewsOK, radar graphics via NOAA]