The Sperm Bike is a 120-pound, 10-foot bicycle rigged with a sperm-shaped tank of liquid nitrogen and—on business days—vials of human sperm ("pre-babies"). Based on a model used in Copenhagen, Seattle's sperm bike transports its cargo from the Seattle Sperm Bank to fertility clinics. Even though it's motorized, it's still better for the environment than sperm utility vehicles, spermships, and the Spermarine, the sperm-carrying submarines that were so popular in the 1930s.
Microsoft employees have logged 2,605 days of riding their bikes to work, with an average commute of 19 miles in a day, since the start of the year in a contest sponsored by the Cascade Bicycle Education Foundation for organizations in the greater Seattle area. That's more than twice as many days and three times as many miles as Amazon.com employees, ranked eleventh behind even the lazy slackers who work in Seattle's municipal government and the academic wankers at the state university. How are Valley companies doing?