The rules of beer pong vary from region to region—Is blowing allowed? When can you rerack the cups? What should we pee on and whose dad is getting us all jobs after graduation?—but it’s universally understood that defenders should create a distraction while their opponents are shooting. That distraction probably shouldn’t be a gun, though.
This is the Tonight Show in 2014, in which we learn that Annie Hall either doesn't know or just doesn't care how beer pong works.
Nerd Broville, a mesh-shorted seaside town with Call of Duty casinos and a high-speed party monorail, has a new Mayor. His name is Christian Reed, he's a member of MIT's Phi Beta Epsilon fraternity, and he has solved a problem that's plagued nerd bros for eons: the sticky balls (heh) and constant spillage (heh heh) that come along with those long, arduous nights of Olympic beer-pong feats.
JV Games was all set to release Beer Pong for the Nintendo Wii as part of its new Frat Party Games series (forthcoming titles include It's Not Gay, It's Tradition and Honor Council Testimony: Age of Consent Edition). Then the killjoy parents got involved, saying it's not right encouraging underage drinking, even in the virtual world. So now the thing's called Pong Toss, which, according to Time, will feature "pixelated cups of water." Use your Xbox to draft a pixelated transfer application. As it turns out, however, water as an alternative chug resource has also caused problems on university campuses:
When Google took on Facebook in ultimate frisbee, Facebook took the series 2-0. Now we hear a contest of beer pong — the drinking game involving ping pong balls, Solo cups and Milwaukee's Best — has been scheduled between Mark Zuckerberg's finest and the New York-based, IAC-backed CollegeHumor. CollegeHumor cofounder Ricky Van Veen began the smack talk early posting the above image to his blog. It reads:
When first we viewed these photos (obtained by trusty Intern Kate and a shutterbug sidekick) of Saturday night's Assistant Beer Pong Tournament at Melrose Ave. binge-drinking mecca El Guapo, the event seemed as drunkenly care-free as we'd expected, carrying on the proudly crapulent tradition of the throwdowns of the previous two years. But after learning that the cherished Beer Pong Trophy had been snatched before the champions from Team Gold Circle could rightfully claim it, these images now take on an added poignancy as reminders of a simpler, more innocent time, when people could connect by chugging cheap beer and screaming at each other across folding tables instead of a telephone line. Damn you, anonymous trophy-jacker, for tainting the desk-slave equivalent of the Super Bowl with your selfish disregard for something so pure.