We know we've been laying it on a bit thick with the Fox & Friends gang of late, but, eh, what the fuck. OMG, today pseudo-Christy band Creed was on the show! And Kilmeade couldn't stop freaking out about it!
We get a lot of emails every day, and often times we just don't have the time, energy, or patience to respond to them, let alone report them to you, dear readers. So here, on this sun-soaked Friday, let's take a moment after the jump to look at a few of these once lost missives who have now found a home here, in Glaring Omissions.
No, not Putin! Ha ha! In an effort to ramp up competition with the United States, Russia has produced its own version of the feared and revered Montauk Monster. It's the Moscow Monster! Its carcass washed ashore on the Eastern coast of the Motherland, indicating that Sarah Palin likely shot it from hundreds of yards away in Alaska, while nestled in her rooftop hunting blind. Russian scientists have yet to identify the creature. Note that it is a more hideous and distorted version of the kinder, gentler American original (but don't worry, some good Russian things recently washed up on our shores). Click through for larger, horrifying image.
At the Movies with Siskel & Ebert, in its heyday, was a pretty decent show. Watching The Hills at its prime was somewhere between having a handbag full of pudding repeatedly smacked in your face and finding a dead cheerleader in the trunk of your husband's car. So what would ol' Sisk and Eb say about The Hills had they reviewed it? Some YouTube video mangler has spliced in old footage from their review of the Harmony Korine/Larry Clark nightmare Kids with the promo clip for the next season of that MTV reality gloop. Watch the video after the jump.
Oh I can hardly believe it! Such language! No, not from the mewling hormone vessels (ack, remember those days?) on Gossip Girl, but rather the people who recap the episodes. The Calendar section of the LA Times recently made a funny (and possibly optimistic about teen sex) blunder while quoting the show in a next-day postmortem. Jenny, our littlest sexbot, was talking about her secretly homo boyfriend Asher and said "Is that why we went to third?" To which one of her silly friends replied "You went to third?" (Now, tell me because I'm curious, what is third to you? To me that means taking a ferry to fellatio farms or a caravan to cunnilingus corners, but I could be off.) Anyway, the LAT recapper, Jon Caramanica, thought they said "dessert" instead of "third." So his write up read: "Is that why we went dessert?" "You went dessert?!?!?!" As if they'd just been scarfing down fried macaroni and cheese and the Navajo chicken sandwich at Cheesecake Factory and then they'd gone for the cake. I guess it still works, actually. [From Regret the Error]
Somewhere in Japan a ragtag group of people on some sort of television show got together and (some donning black face) reenacted, with eerie precision, the famous pile-up of celebrities that is the video for 1985's charity song "We Are The World". Japanese Michael Jackson! Japanese Cyndi Lauper! Japanese Lionel Richie! Even Japanese Ray Charles! No matter that this has nothing to do with anything. We just can't send you into the comfort of the weekend without first making you ponder the fact that things such as this exist. Video after the jump.