The Sun is Rising on Our Twilight Years: Old Women Are So Hot Right Now

Dayna Evans · 02/13/15 10:50AM

Perhaps you've had occasion to browse a newsstand recently (why) and you've noticed something odd. Take that first "d" and replace it with an "l" and you're well on your way to understanding a thrilling new trend in photos of notable women. No, that isn't softskinned Kentucky beauty queen Jennifer Lawrence on the cover of the latest issue of What's the Deal, Ladies magazine. Nor do those tap shoes with a Pilgrim buckle sit on the ankles of the nubile Scarlett Johansson as she poses like Venus on the Babes For Real bi-monthly. That woman you see, well, she is a woman of a certain age.

Hamilton Nolan · 04/03/14 02:58PM

"Only little boys and low-class men are into breasts." "I will tell me $2mm a year hedge fund DH from a prominent family that my natural 32DDs make him low class. He will love that." The patrician commenters of discuss true beauty.

The Nail Polish Bubble Has Burst

Hamilton Nolan · 12/16/13 12:08PM

Nail polish: a weird product that girls buy. We may never know why. What we do know, thanks to actual statistics, is this: the Great Nail Polish Bubble of 2012 has burst. What gives, nailpersons?

Dove Lied to You: You're Not That Pretty After All

Maggie Lange · 05/21/13 02:43PM

In April, Dove Real Beauty campaign launched a saccharine video campaign that indicated that women have low self-confidence and downplay their own beauty. Strangers who described women they had just met to forensic sketch artists described "prettier" versions than the ones described by women talking about themselves. The video concludes: “You are more beautiful than you think.” But actually, it turns out, we have no idea what we really look like.

Dita Von Teese Says No Nipple Hair Allowed

MTanzer · 10/23/12 10:57PM

Dita Von Teese, the only burlesque queen that your mom knows by name, is currently plugging her new beauty book. In an 2600 word interview with beauty site Into The Gloss, she runs through her makeup routine in heavy detail. She also briefly talks about how she and ex-husband Marilyn Manson used to dye their hair black together, which really just warms your little black heart.

All Those Beauty Products Are Making You Depressed

Hamilton Nolan · 07/09/12 03:40PM

XO Jane went through a lot of serious drama when they had to part ways with dust-smoking suicidal narcissist downtown swinger beauty columnist Cat Marnell, after they had sucked every last car-wreck-in-action page view that they reasonably could from her while still maintaining a decent Caring Big Sister posture. But there's good news, desperate readers: XO Jane has an equally depressed suicidal beauty writer to serve as Marnell's spiritual successor.

Summer Camp Chicks Are Totally Waxed These Days

Hamilton Nolan · 06/07/12 11:17AM

Allow us to remind the "good people" (bad people) at the New York Times Style section that they already published the ne plus ultra of enraging Rich People Summer Camp trend stories last year, with their classic "Rich people are sending their kids to expensive summer camps on private jets" piece. No double-dipping in the Most Enraging Rich People Summer Camp Stories pool, NYT. I see you trying.

The Tyranny of Differently-Priced Salon Services for Men Is Over

Hamilton Nolan · 05/23/12 10:54AM

Today, in the year 2012, long after Martin Luther King Jr. and all those other guys marched and stuff, there still exists, right here in New York City, the type of discrimination that would have made Sojourner Truth stand up and say, "I don't think so!" [Pause for laughter.] That's right: salons are charging dudes different prices than women, for stuff, sometimes.

You Have No Idea What Your Cosmetics Are Doing to You

Hamilton Nolan · 04/23/12 08:39AM

People with half a god damn brain in their heads not drugged to a stupor by that evil emotion "hope" have long understood that "anti-wrinkle creams" are bullshit. That, of course, has not stopped Americans from buying them by the truckload. We are a fundamentally dumb people. We must be protected from ourselves.

Chin Up: There's a New Plastic Surgery Trend

Louis Peitzman · 04/16/12 09:25PM

If you're like most Americans, you've felt insecure about the size of your chin. It's not sufficiently pronounced. It doesn't have Greco-Roman definition. Maybe it even looks like a butt. Lucky for you, plastic surgery has an answer — and a surprising number of people have taken advantage of it. Last year, the number of chin implant surgeries rose 71 percent to 20,680.

Are You Spending Enough Money on Beauty Products for Your Ugly Baby?

Hamilton Nolan · 03/29/12 10:08AM

Your baby: it has some issues. Let's be real. Its baby skin is... not so perfect. Nothing you'd want to be seen in public with. Your baby's beauty reflects on you. The good news: your baby's hideousness is nothing that hundreds of dollars worth of beauty products can't temporarily fix.

Here's a Good Way to Deal With Magazine Photoshopping

Max Read · 11/28/11 11:15PM

Now, we don't want to alarm you, but it's time you learned the truth. Magazines sometimes touch up photos of celebrities. I know. I know! It's shocking to think that Redbook might not be the absolute model of a journalistic commitment to the truth. But there it is. And here's a good way to deal with it.

Rumble at the Wal-Mart Nail Spa

Seth Abramovitch · 11/23/11 11:20PM

It's Thanksgiving Eve, which means we here at Gawker are fully committed to bringing you as much sex, violence and cosmetology news as is fit to print. The pilgrims would have wanted it that way. How about a "knock-down, drag-out fight" at a Wal-Mart nail salon outside Atlanta — with video? Yes. We thought you'd enjoy that, sickies.