New York Beaches Are Not Real Beaches

Jason Parham · 07/03/15 10:40AM

There is, among a particular cohort of New York City transplants, a belief that we hold dear. It is entirely based on our collective upbringing in a coastal city, small town, or neighborhood not named Manhattan, Brooklyn, or whatever other boroughs make up this fair metropolis. This belief: New York City-area beaches are not real beaches.

Florida Warns Beachgoers of Flesh-Eating Bacteria in the Water

Adam Weinstein · 07/28/14 02:50PM

Health officials in Florida today issued new warnings about high levels of a flesh-eating bacterium in the ocean and other recreational waters in the state. The state says that bacterium, Vibrio vulnificus, causes ulceration and rapid skin decay and is fatal in about 50 percent of people who get it in their bloodstreams.

Florida Beachgoer Hilariously Confronts Two Women Stealing His Stuff

Adam Weinstein · 07/07/14 12:30PM

A Florida man celebrating the Fourth of July with his friends and family on New Smyrna Beach noticed two middle-aged women trying to make off with his tent canopy, beach chairs, boogie boards, and kids' toys. So he confronted them, with a cameraphone, and got an unexpected fireworks show.

KRS-One Sits on Beach In Flowing White Garment

Hamilton Nolan · 01/25/13 02:23PM

In 1992, KRS-One famously threw P.M. Dawn off the stage at a show in New York. In 2013, here is KRS-One sitting pensively on the beach in a flowing, billowy white garment, discussing politics as the wind whispers gently through his hair.

Those We Lost in 2012: the Beached Whale

Max Read · 12/27/12 01:30PM

In August, a finback whale that curled up to die on a shore in the Hamptons was buried in the sand; in 1964, a whale found in the Hudson, off of 79th street, was towed out to sea and detonated with 500 pounds of explosives. For the last 24 hours, a 60-foot finback whale has lain mute and emaciated on the shore outside the burned husk of Breezy Point, Queens, slowly suffocating under the weight of its own, no-longer-buoyant body. This morning, it stopped breathing, and biologists from the National Marine Fisheries Service declared it dead.

Staten Island Beaches Full of Needles

Hamilton Nolan · 07/26/12 09:20AM

After an extended soggy winter, it's finally beach needle season in New York. Four New Yorkers stepped on beach needles in the past few weeks. Where were most of them, I wonder? Specifically? "Three incidents happened within the last three weeks on Staten Island."

It's Nude Bathers Vs. Uniformed Officers On San Diego Beaches

Seth Abramovitch · 07/31/11 07:48PM

San Diego's San Onofre State Beach has long been a mecca for nudists looking for a genital-scorching day by the sea. But state park rangers have been cracking down on them lately, and the Camp Pendleton Marines Corps that leases the land to the state — and uses the neighboring Gold's Beach to train recruits in amphibious assault — has found itself dragged into the dispute, the LA Times reports.

Would You Vacation at a Nazi Beach Resort?

Maureen O'Connor · 07/20/11 05:08PM

Germany's largest building is a six-story, four-kilometer Nazi-built resort called Prora, located on an island in the Baltic Sea. Originally called "Kraft durch Freude" (Strength Through Joy), it's big enough to house 20,000 people. It was supposed to be even bigger, but World War II disrupted its construction. The building languished mostly unused until three and a half years ago, when a youth hostel moved in. I sense a Hostel sequel coming on.

Barack Obama's Beach Covered in Poop

Jim Newell · 12/23/10 04:40PM

Rainstorms have caused 14 Hawaiian sewer pipes to overflow, at least four of which spilled into the waterway where the Obamas are vacationing. Hawaii has issued a "brown water warning." Will Barack Obama "man up" and swim in this poopwater?

Earl of Tides

Brian Moylan · 09/02/10 06:20PM

[A woman in Surf City, North Carolina, watches the waves being whipped up by Hurricane Earl, which has the potential to ruin countless Labor Day weekend travel plans as it travels up the eastern seaboard. Image via AP]

Brazilian Backs

Max Read · 08/02/10 02:43AM

[Sunbathers on Flamengo beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Being at work on Monday morning is almost as good as this! Pic via AP.]

San Diego Mulls Totally Awesome Rubber Booze Raft Crackdown

Jeff Neumann · 07/26/10 05:57AM

City officials in San Diego, tired of drunk frat boys littering their pristine coast, in 2007 banned drinking on the beach. But there's a loophole: "If you're floating, you're good," according to police. So thousands get wasted on rafts, brah.

The Oil Spill Beach Cleanup: Get Over It

Jeff Neumann · 07/08/10 06:40AM

Why remove the oil beneath the sand along Gulf beaches when you can just let it sit there forever? It's not hurting anyone. That's the thinking of some "experts," at least. What you can't see won't hurt you!