Bars Are Not Fun

Jordan Sargent · 08/12/16 02:00PM

It becomes clear once you grow up just how unprepared most people are for adulthood. I think this is partly because no one ever tells you how awful it is to spend much of your free time in bars.

Sketchy Bar Claims Tape Shows "90% Chance" Employee Didn't Rape Customer

Jay Hathaway · 08/05/15 03:38PM

A 25-year-old woman says she was drugged and raped at Lower East Side bar Happy Ending last Tuesday night by an employee who has since been fired. After spending 10 hours dealing with NYPD officers who, she says, kept suggesting she had “led him to believe it was okay,” she suffered additional indignity at the hands of Happy Ending itself: a spokesperson for the bar claimed CCTV showed “a 90 percent chance it was consensual behavior.”

A Bear Left a Bar

Sam Biddle · 09/25/13 11:17AM

On Monday night, a bear walked into an Alaskan bar. The bartender didn't want the bear in the bar, and told the bear to leave: "No bear! Get out! No! You can't be in here!" The bear agreed and left.

What's the Best Way To Get a Drink At a Busy Bar?

Ken Layne · 09/19/13 04:30PM

An empty bar is best. You just pick a seat where there's light enough to read, and the bartender comes right over. Then there are the busy nights, when people crush around the bar three deep and getting a drink seems impossible. What kind of supernatural skills are necessary for getting a cocktail on a Saturday night?

Maggie Lange · 05/30/13 04:14PM

"It's not a real country club, it's a joke… It's an ironic little shitty golf course in back… You can't really make a reservation..." and more stellar responses elicited by prank caller antagonizing Brooklyn bartenders and posting the conversations on Tumblr.

Mitt Romney Had to Practice Sitting on a Bar Stool for This Debate

MTanzer · 10/16/12 08:44PM

The Presidential debate is already underway in Long Island, but news is trickling in via CNN that Mitt underwent intense training—like how to sit on a barstool. Mitt is, of course, a Mormon, so his experience in bars is limited. Therefore, his bar stool training does make sense—he wouldn't want to look robotic or unnatural, after all.

Sausage Factory Worker Falls Into Meat Grinder

Max Read · 07/16/11 11:58AM

Michael Raper, a 26-year-old employee of meat processing company Bar S, died this week after falling into a meat grinder. Is there a way that this story could be more horrible? Yes, yes there is:

Six Things That Should Be Banned From Bars Forever

Brian Moylan · 06/28/11 04:52PM

Bars exist for people to hang out with their friends, watch the game, unwind, and maybe play a game of pool or pick up a bit of strange for the evening. What bars are not for are all your silly games that are not only annoying, but dangerous. People are getting sued!

Beware of Barfly Banking Chaperones

Lauri Apple · 05/15/11 10:11AM

The next time you're getting drunk in some bar — let's call it Boomer's — and a stranger suddenly offers to take you to the bank and help you open up a new account, maybe don't go with them. Yeah, just keep on drinking.

Brownstone Brooklynites Absolutely Terrified of Hip-Hop Music

Richard Lawson · 03/02/11 12:50PM

As the huge (largest-ever in Brooklyn) and controversial Atlantic Yards development project, adjacent to some of Brooklyn's most bobo-filled enclaves, makes further progress, the level of hysteria rises and rises. The latest story has a group of Park Slope residents freaking out about a new bar opening in their neighborhood (in anticipation of arena crowds supposedly) that they fear will dare to play hip-hop music.

Volunteer Bouncer Uses Stun Gun Over Backwards Hat

Jeff Neumann · 12/14/10 07:22AM

What's worse than being a bouncer? Being a volunteer bouncer! Like 23-year-old Nathan Landis, who, while keeping a vigilant watch over his favorite watering hole, saw another man wearing his hat backwards and zapped him repeatedly with a stun gun.

NYPD vs. Drunk Dutch Embassy Guys

Jeff Neumann · 11/30/10 05:13AM

When a group of Dutch Embassy guys allegedly tried to leave Arthur's Tavern in Greenwich Village without paying a $315 tab, NYPD officers intervened and a brawl ensued, resulting in a chipped tooth, a broken finger and bruises. And arrests!