Hamilton Nolan · 07/16/13 08:53AM

Goldman Sachs today became the fourth big bank to post huge profits this week. Wall Street is back on top! This is how it always starts.

Cancer Patient Mistaken for 'Surgical Mask Bandit,' Who Also Exists

Caity Weaver · 07/03/13 04:03PM

A Wells Fargo branch in Montebello, California did its part to make one cancer patient’s life a smidge more hellish last Friday, when tellers mistook mild-mannered lymphoma patient Joe Jaramillo for a serial robber nicknamed “the Surgical Mask Bandit," and attempted to have him arrested.

E.U. Demands Cypriots Pay Up

Max Read · 03/18/13 07:30AM

Eurozone finance ministers are demanding a one-time levy on bank deposits of all sizes—even on insured accounts—as part of a bailout package for Cyprus, which is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. Cypriots sprinted to banks and ATMs this weekend, waiting in long lines to withdraw cash after hearing about the plan on Saturday; if approved by Cyprus' parliament, it would mark the first time ordinary European depositors would be asked to take a haircut for a bailout plan. The levy would take 6.7 percent for deposits of less than 100,000 Euros and 9.9 percent for those above, and while more progressive plans have been floated, as it stands right now "[t]his is a conscious choice to make poorer people pay to help richer ones," The Financial Times writes. Why lean on the little guy? In all likelihood to preserve the island nation's status as an offshore haven for, in particular, Russian businessmen. Still, the tax is far from being assured: it's unclear whether President Nicos Anastasiades has the necessary majority to approve the plan, and the vote has been delayed until tomorrow. [Financial Times | NYT | Reuters | image via Getty/AFP]

Big Banks Going Offshore to Rip People Off

Max Rivlin-Nadler · 02/24/13 02:30PM

Payday lenders, owners of the ubiquitous check-cashing store and scourge of the working poor, have a new partner when it comes to making sure people pay their outrageous, often illegal interest rates: the big banks.

Citigroup to Cut 11,000 Jobs Just Before the Holidays

Robert Kessler · 12/05/12 12:23PM

It's about to be the worst Christmas ever for more than 11,000 Citigroup employees, who will soon be unceremoniously dumped by their Grinchly employer during the happiest time of the year.

Bank of America Is Now Stealing From Child Actors, Allegedly

Taylor Berman · 09/20/12 09:06PM

According to a recent class action lawsuit, Bank of America has been illegally withdrawing money from bank accounts set up for child actors. Apparenty, there's a statute called Coogan's Law, named after a former child actor who would later play Uncle Fester on the original "Adams Family," which requires employers to set aside 15 percent of a child actors' gross pay in a trust that's only accessible once the kid turns 18.

'Plain Jane Bandit' Has World's Worst Criminal Nickname

Caity Weaver · 08/03/12 10:23AM

Used to be folks wouldn't dream of going to the theater without long white gloves, traveling on an aeroplane in short pants, or robbing a bank in anything but their finest haute couture ball gown.

Bank of America Declares Living Customer Dead for Three Years

Max Read · 03/14/12 12:30PM

Arthur Livingston, 39, maybe "alive" in the "technical" tense. He is "breathing" and his "biological heart" is "beating." But he's not alive in a much more important sense: his bank has declared him dead. Since May 2009.

Goldman Exec, Ping Pong Star Quits with Brutal Rant in The New York Times

Max Read · 03/14/12 09:19AM

There is no better way to quit your job than by unloading on your former employer in the pages of the country's paper of record, and for that if nothing else we salute (former) Goldman Sachs executive director Greg Smith, who has a Times Op-Ed today entitled "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." Spoiler alert: it's because the firm is filled with "morally-bankrupt" sociopaths.

How Can We Make Wall Street Recruiting 'Cool' Again?

Hamilton Nolan · 11/30/11 03:10PM

Add this to the list of Wall Street's problems: kids these days don't think banks are "cool" any more, for some reason. (Kids. You know?) The NYT says that even Yale kids are protesting when Morgan Stanley comes to campus to recruit their peers who know how to pick out a decent suit, which is probably... the best thing Yalies have ever done.

Cops Do Something Good for Once, Refuse to Evict 103-Year-Old

Max Read · 11/30/11 11:20AM

Cops managed to not pepper-spray a victim of our country's absurdly creditor-happy finance laws for once in their lives this weekend when they refused to evict a 103-year-old woman and her 83-year-old daughter. Progress!

Regulators Do Not Care About Bank of America's Self-Esteem

Lauri Apple · 11/22/11 09:43AM

Regulators have been picking on Bank of America—telling the poor bank that it needs to get stronger, or else they'll enforce "intensified scrutiny" (monitor its Facebook use) and "greater restrictions" (no television after 9 PM, less hanging out with its cool friends). Or some bullshit.

Malcolm Gladwell Likes Money

John Cook · 11/16/11 02:27PM

The New Yorker's Malcolm Gladwell just wrapped up a three-city tour shilling for Bank of America and delivering "actionable advice" to its customers.