Maggie Lange · 05/30/13 09:15AM

The Velvet Underground and the Andy Warhol Foundation just settled a lawsuit over a banana, in a debate that probably could have been best solved in some warehouse forty years ago.

The Banana Apocalypse Is Coming

Brian Moylan · 07/22/11 02:44PM

You just love eating bananas from the supermarket, right? Well, you better get your fill because a fungal infection is threatening to wipe out the yellow fruit that we all take for granted.

Giant Boner-Inducing Spider Rampages in Supermarket

Maureen O'Connor · 07/11/11 11:20AM

A five-inch Brazilian Wandering Spider—the most venomous spider in the world, which "can also cause priapism in humans"—stowed away in a box of bananas and leaped out in a German grocery store, running through the aisles and causing pandemonium on Friday.

Ohio Cops in Search of Violent Banana

Max Read · 07/09/11 12:15PM

Attention, residents of Strongville, Ohio! A possibly-violent banana (-costumed person) is on the loose, having assaulted a man wearing a gorilla costume outside a cell phone store. "I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla," manager Brandon Parham, told WJW-TV. "He just looked like a Spartan from that movie 300, except he was a banana." How does such a thing happen? Who is responsible? When will WJW reporter Melissa Reid get an award for this sentence: "Police say the person dressed up as a banana split and headed south on Pearl Road"? We may never know. Police, we are told, "believe it was a prank." [WJW-TV]

Stephen Colbert Tries Out Innovative Banana Opener

Madeleine Davies · 01/14/11 12:38PM

On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen asked the question that's been plaguing banana eaters for centuries: "How do I get into this thing?" His answer? Pull a Gallagher and smash it open with hammer.