I Can't Stop Watching These Parade Balloon Accident Videos

Hudson Hongo · 11/27/14 02:30PM

Like stock car races or primary debates, balloon parades are an alleged form of entertainment that's mostly just boring until something goes wrong. Fortunately, with balloon accidents the resulting injuries are primarily psychic in nature—measured in months of therapy for poor Jacob after seeing Pikachu disemboweled by a lamppost—making them much more fun to watch.

Here Is a Man Who Has Romantic Relationships with Balloons

Rich Juzwiak · 08/27/12 08:45AM

Twenty-seven-year-old Dave, who lives near Little Rock, Arkansas, is a dedicated "looner." That doesn't mean he's crazy (although he might be that, too — judge for yourself) — "looner" describes a person who has romantic relationships with balloons. Dave blows them up, but he will have you know that he isn't blowing them, per se: "I am pure in my life," he explains regarding the suggestion that he may be doing "something else" with his beloved blimps. His lack of sexual passion is a little bit disappointing as I kind of wanted to get to the bottom of all those Xtube balloon videos I'm too scared/otherwise occupied to click on, but Dave makes up for all of this in this segment from last night's Taboo by saying off-the-wall stuff like, "When you think about it in a real, true love sense, it really isn't a toy." He also describes his "balloon rescues," and mourns a popped one. He's really extreme, as only a man who is having polyamorous relationships with rubber bladders can be.

Science Says Stop Making Party Balloons, We're Running Out of Helium

Emma Carmichael · 03/19/12 06:01PM

Science! Just when everyone's having a great time, it comes along and tells us to turn down the music. Or, at the very least, to stop blowing up party balloons with helium, you heathens, because you're ruining some very important experiments.

A Visual History of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons

Brian Moylan · 11/23/11 06:15PM

What is Thanksgiving all about? It's about ringing in the season of conspicuous consumerism we call Christmas, right? So what better way to celebrate that than with a department store sponsored holiday tradition: The Macy's Thanksgiving balloons.

Rudolph Balloon Brutally Murdered During Christmas Parade Gone Awry

Matt Cherette · 12/06/10 09:29PM

One highlight of last Saturday's Christmas parade in Richmond, VA—besides random people on Segways—was supposed to be a giant Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer balloon. Unfortunately, a stop light got in Rudolph's way, and... watch the tragedy unfold, inside.

Man Crosses English Channel with Helium Balloons

Maureen O'Connor · 05/28/10 01:27PM

Jonathan Trappe is a "cluster balloonist," specializing in flying the way the old man in Up did. Today Jonathan crossed the English channel, fulfilling "this wonderful fantasy of grabbing onto toy balloons and floating into open space," he explained.

99 Failed Red Balloons

Sergio Hernandez · 01/05/10 02:30PM

So this is kind of sad. Some people released a large set of balloons in honor of orphaned children at a fundraising event and... it did not go well.