Pig Refuses to Be Bacon, Jumps From Truck En Route to Slaughterhouse

Aleksander Chan · 06/12/14 07:46PM

It is in the face of death that we all learn what we are truly made of. If you were, for example, a pig being taken to slaughter, would you attempt to jump from the truck as it speeds down the highway, the driver salivating just at the thought of you being turned into bacon? Or would you embrace death, letting those final moments of life wash over you and calm you before your throat is slit? One brave pig dared to jump.

I Can't Stop Looking at This Slow-Motion Bacon Explosion GIF

Dayna Evans · 04/19/14 02:00PM

Just as Moses parted the Red Sea, a man with only a serrated knife and a spatula pulled apart a log of glossy animal innards to reveal the stuffed detritus of several other animals, like if only one section of your thigh was removed, making a stump on both ends, spackled with goo and blood.

Centenarian Says the Secret to Living a Long Life is Bacon

Neetzan Zimmerman · 05/08/13 08:30AM

After years of listening to centenarians rave about the wonders of Greek yogurt and steam rooms one little (really) old lady has finally conceded that life's only true fountain of youth is bacon.

Nitasha Tiku · 04/25/13 02:55PM

Wild pigs by the millions are taking over the planet, choking out native species and decimating natural ecosystems. Brooklyn better diversify its palate toward feral bacon, or else!

Here's How Much Bacon and Sausage You Can Eat Without Getting Cancer

Maggie Lange · 03/07/13 10:15AM

People who consume lots of processed meat run a greater risk of a premature death and are more likely to develop cancer and heart disease, according to a new study. But don't worry! Scientists still say you can eat meat—just no more than one tiny sausage a day.

22 Terrible Things That Must End in 2013

Cord Jefferson · 12/11/12 05:35PM

For all of humanity's greatness—the pyramids, the Hoover Dam, our capacity to love—human beings have proven ourselves quite capable of doing truly disgusting things, also, including waging wars, acting upon greed, and wearing those godforsaken toe shoes. In an effort to build a more just, rational, and aesthetically pleasing future, here is a list of 22 things Gawker is banning in 2013. At the stroke of midnight on December 31, be sure to either immediately stop doing the actions listed here, or, if it's an object that's being banned, a toe shoe, perhaps, incinerate it in a trash can. The civilized world thanks you!

Everybacon Calm Down: We're Not Going to Run Out of Bacon

Caity Weaver · 10/01/12 01:10PM

After British reports of upcoming bacon shortages last month led people whose whole identity is defined by the fact that they enjoy bacon and even sometimes consume it in unexpected ways -like chopped into tiny pieces and inserted into a chocolate bar- to begin selling off choice plots in the family cemetery lot in exchange for packages of frozen hog hash, American agricultural economists have stepped forward to soothe us all.

Bacon, Kate Upton, and Other Things You Can't Make Fun of On Twitter

Drew Magary · 05/11/12 04:23PM

I've dicked around on Twitter long enough to be able to have a composite persona of it in my head. If Twitter were a person, it would look like a hipster and it would like hipster music, but it would fucking HATE hipsters. It would be socially liberal, but it would totally respect Ron Paul for being genuine about his nutjob views. It would constantly be arguing with itself as to whether or not it liked watching "Girls." And it would come after you with a claw hammer to the face if you dared to rail against the following subjects.