Halloween digs itself out of the chilly autumn ground for a few weeks each year, too weird and primal for governments or religions to claim. It is an ancient pagan harvest festival and a leering plastic skeleton in a front-yard cemetery of styrofoam tombstones. It is candy and liquor, sex and death, and the only "moral lesson" of Halloween is a sneering threat from a child in the night: Give me mine or you'll get yours, mister. It is the only honest American holiday.
Pringles, a potato-based snack that does not actually self-identify as a "potato chip," has recently announced that they will be introducing new "holiday flavors" to the Pringle family. The new flavors? "Pumpkin Pie Spice," "Cinnamon and Sugar," and "White Chocolate Peppermint." Why? God only knows.