What is the saddest thing? Possibly: a heroic lion mascot in a cape who has become too drunk to stand and collapses on the soccer pitch, his giant fuzzy head lolling and falling off in his hands. Underneath, he is only human, like the rest of us. He is also drunk, like the rest of us.
This 9/11 cake was created by Austrian baker Thomas Kienbauer as a metaphor for the current state of Vienna politics. In this metaphor, the Twin Towers of cake represent the ruling coalition Kienbaeur opposes, and the planes represent various fringe parties he apparently supports. (It is not a very good metaphor.)
Museo Jumex, an art museum that opened in Mexico City in 2013, is embroiled in its first controversy as an institution. Barely a week away from the opening of an exhibit featuring the works of Austrian artist Hermann Nitsch, Museo Jumex canceled it, claiming that the art would be too disturbing for citizens to look at.
A pair of Austrian teenagers who apparently fled to Syria to support ISIS may be pregnant by a pair of Chechen fighters, according to a probably-fake report in the New York Post. Several more reputable news outlets, meanwhile, are reporting that either Samra Kesinovic, 16, or her friend Sabina Selimovic, 15, may have been killed in Syria, where they've been since April of this year. The two girls are believed to have become radicalized after attending a local mosque in Vienna, and Interpol has confirmed their disappearance, posting several photos of the two girls in both Western clothing and in burqas. Virtually everything else about the two girls is in dispute, though; we don't even know which of them may have been killed.
On Wednesday, Bolivian President Evo Morales was geopolitically stopped-and-frisked in Austria on his way home from Moscow, which Bolivia has claimed was because the U.S. believed Ed Snowden was aboard his plane. Conflicting information has since emerged, with some claiming it was a routine stop that got blown out of proportion, others a flagrant abuse by U.S. imperialists. Today, however, it is clear that someone was telling Europeans governments that Edward Snowden was aboard Morales' flight, and it looks likely it was the U.S.
A Swedish artist and former erotic TV hostess named Ylva-Maria Thompson is opening the Austrian International School of Sex, where people can finally learn how to do it the right way. "Sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features- these are the AISOS disciplines," says the school's dysfunctional website. "And we teach you hands on."