Today's Times House & Home section gets to the bottom of the recent innovations in the bidet industry. Seems the fancy ass-washing toilets that clean your foul and constantly feces-soiled buttocks with a high-pressure burst of "well-aimed aerated water," are undergoing some sort of new acceptance in this country. While the evidence provided, numbers-wise, is a bit thin, the piece does offer a somewhat credible rationale for why this non-trend might actually be occurring.
"Queen sang, 'Fat bottomed girls, you made the rockin' world go round' back in 1978. Yet slim-hippedness reigned until hip-hop and rap brought us Sir Mix-a-Lot's seminal music video line 'I like big butts and I can not lie' in 1992, later amplified by Sisqó's 'Thong Song' and Lil' Kim's 'Shake Ya Bum Bum.'" As part of its "Sex Issue," Slate provides a slideshow tracking the role of gigantic asses filled with the kind of important cultural contextualization found above. [Slate]
In a compromise on the great Giant Ass Billboard Conflict of 2007, Toto Washlet [insert beloved Gawker sponsor boilerplate here] has compromised with Times Square Church, the site which was to house the promotion for Toto's fancy new ass-washing machine. Rather than showing naked, smiling asses, the cheeks will be sanitized and covered up by an ass-concealing banner. It's sort of a metaphor for Times Square as a whole, no?
The second-to-top post on full-time celebrity nudity site Egotastic concerns actress Mary Louise Parker and her bareass publicity campaign for the show "Weeds." The post above it? An array of Claire Danes nip slip pictures. That bitch won't even let poor Mary Louise keep the skinflash demographic to herself. Why are you so petty and vindictive, Claire Danes? [Links NSFW if your work doesn't approve of asses or nipples.]
Star magazine editor-at-large Julia Allison sat down with the fine folks from Fox News horror-show "Red Eye" last night and brought her unique expertise to a subject rocking America's public debate right now: ass-grabbing. Turns out a certain celebrity (and thousands of complete nobodies) grabbed Ms. Allison's ample derriere at a recent social event! Who was it? To find out, you'll just have to watch the clip. Or, you know, read the headline above.