· Trump will have to settle for firing his real-life employees while NBC decides if it's going to strike the boardroom set forever.
· We dare not embed this amazing clip for fear that some innocent furniture in view of your computer monitor will be scarred for life by the horrifying group ottoman freaking depicted therein.
· The Mooninites go free, with virtually no discussion of hair care.
· Scientology and Me YouTube faceoff: Shouty BBC Reporter vs. Creepily Intense Defender of the Faith.
· Please, we beg of you, don't watch the above piece of Mirrenporn with your speakers turned up if you work somewhere that's touchy about explicit lyrics.
· Lost film lost to airport X-ray damage. The Hanso Foundation is clearly behind this. Or, perhaps, the wily magic turtle in the top hat.
· The head of the Cartoon Network takes the fall for the Mooninite not-bomb incident. He really should've tried stonewalling with hair talk.
· Samples of the (disappointingly golden shower-free) Kim Kardashian sex tape have dribbled into the semicelebrity pornosphere.
· Without the supermarket checkout line, Michael Lohan might have no way to get in touch with his troubled daughter. Then again, he could always trying texting her.
· Looking to scare the shit out of your own city with a flashing Mooninite not-bomb? eBay will hook you up.
· Ellen Pompeo only plays (OK, played) an anorexic on TV.
· Finally, a place to put your terrifying ability to identify random celebrity body parts to productive use.
· All your favorite famous person BJ moments, collected in one handy place. [NSFW]
When facing a media firing squad to answer questions about one's arrest for facilitating a multimedia conglomerate's crazy ideas for getting some attention for their cartoon about anthropomorphic fast food items, one might politely offer a "no comment" and be on one's way. On the other hand, if one were interested in taking a moment to spotlight the absurdity of a situation in which a few friendly, flashing aliens were briefly mistaken for a pop-culture-savvy terrorist cell's attempt to drastically reduce Boston's stoner population through the explosive co-option of a beloved icon, one might handle their post-arraignment press conference in a different way.
While all the latest buzz around ill-advised marketing campaigns hysterically misconstrued as acts of terrorism is currently clustered around yesterday's freakout over some harmless, flashing, bird-flipping Aqua Teen Hunger Force devices placed around Boston, a story in today's LAT reminds us of the similar events of last April, when Paramount's planting of suspicious, wire-sprouting music-boxes inside the Times' newspaper vending machines to promote Mission: Impossible III exacerbated many L.A. residents' quiet fears that Tom Cruise is bent on world domination. The LAT reports that federal officials are mulling the idea of suing both the studio and the paper over the stunt: