Swine Flu Pandemic: Over

Hamilton Nolan · 08/11/10 08:19AM

The deadly Mexican Pig Influenza Pandemic— remember that?—yes, that. Well, it's over. FYI. It's "run its course," according to the World Health Organization. Did you survive? Cool. Ditto. I think we called this one accurately way back when. [LAT]

H1N1 Still Threatening All Life on Earth

Adrian Chen · 03/30/10 01:05AM

Remember H1N1? It was like this new cancer or something. Apparently people were worried about it? Well, the thing is still out there, and cases are spiking in southern states. Oh well, not much we can do about it. [CNN]

Okay So Maybe Cocoa Krispies Don't Cure Swine Flu

Hamilton Nolan · 11/05/09 04:03PM

Kindly Kellogg marketers have agreed to take the big huge banner that says "Helps your child's IMMUNITY" off boxes of Cocoa Krispies, but that doesn't mean that Cocoa Krispies is not basically superhealthy vitamins, for your family!

Swine Flu Strikes Cats and Ferrets! What's Next?

Ravi Somaiya · 11/05/09 05:35AM

If you were planning on taking a feline friend to Des Moines on a sightseeing trip to see whatever the hell is in Des Moines, stop. Cats (well cat, singular actually) there are being struck by the vicious porcine plague.

Swine Flu Officially a Tool of Satan

Hamilton Nolan · 10/09/09 09:14AM

The deadly Mexican Pig Flu's dirtiest deed yet: Coming between you and the literal body and blood of Christ. You will pay dearly for this, heathen microbe.

Flu Prevention Now in Multimedia Form!

Andrew Belonsky · 09/03/09 01:00AM

Back in 1918, when a flu epidemic brought America to its knees, there weren't many innovations in the way of germ-fighting tactics. Well, this is the 21st century, which means there are plenty of new, inventive ways to encourage prevention.

We Have Swine Flu to Look Forward To

Hamilton Nolan · 08/25/09 08:57AM

Right this very minute, trillions of deadly Mexican Pig Flu microbes are just cold chillin' in nooks and crannies somewhere, waiting for the fall flu season, when they will emerge and strike nearly 100,000 Americans dead. Say scientists!

Stay Tuned for Sports, Traffic, and Swine Flu

Hamilton Nolan · 07/21/09 09:46AM

The dreaded Mexican Pig Flu will be back. Oh yes. Of that, there is no question. A few months from now, you will wake up to hear daily Swine Flu Reports sandwiched between weather and traffic. Not a joke!

Turns Out Like Everybody Had Swine Flu

Hamilton Nolan · 06/11/09 08:31AM

Are you a resident of New York City? If you answered 'yes,' have you passed away in the last two months? Surely you have. Look to your left. Look to your right. Both of those people have swine flu!

Swine Flu Panic: Over

Hamilton Nolan · 05/27/09 02:09PM

Two more New Yorkers with swine flu have died. Why isn't there a fresh round of PANIC? Because it looks like the worst is over. And we're not all dead!