Ann Romney is ready to set the record straight about the whole "dog strapped to the roof of the car" business. In an interview with Diane Sawyer, Ann recalled that Seamus the Irish Setter "loved" riding in a carrier on top of the family's Chevrolet. In fact, it would have been far crueler to leave him at a kennel.
Meet Shalanon Brooks, the kind of functionally retarded person you encounter frequently in Southern California. Shalanon is the owner of a Pomeranian whom she named "Malibu." (See first sentence.) She didn't just buy Malibu, but was actually prescribed Malibu for "emotional support." (See first sentence again.) Shalanon went to spend a day riding roller coasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but when she realized the strap of her Louis Vuitton dog carrying-case had broken, she opted to leave Malibu in her car with the windows cracked open and some water and food. (See— Enh. You know the drill by now.)
Police raided Florida's Haven Acres Cat Sanctuary (population: 692 fewer cats than they had before), and in doing so uncovered "the biggest case of cat hoarding the Humane Society of the United States has ever participated in." The proprietors of said kitty slum, Pennie and Steven Lefkowitz, are each facing 47 counts of animal cruelty, which includes one for a neglected rooster. All charges are third-degree felonies.
"Birds should not have to suffer for donuts." So argues vegan blogger Annie Hartnett, who has penned a petition protesting a menu offering at Brooklyn's Do or Dine restaurant: the foie gras doughnut, a high-end dessert running $11 per fatted-goose-liver-filled fritter. (To be clear, Do or Dine don't claim to have invented the foie gras doughnut, which has been popping up on restaurant menus around the country for several years.)
The owl mascot of the Colombian soccer team Atletico Junior died on Sunday after being kicked off the field by Luis Moreno, a player for the opposing side. The owl was first hit by a ball in mid-pass; a refereee stopped the game and Moreno, apparently unclear on proper owl-moving techniques, kicked the animal. "I want to apologise to the fans," he said later. "I was not trying to hurt the owl. I did it to see if it would fly." [Sydney Morning Herald]
On Monday, this graphic video of an unknown girl throwing puppies into a river appeared online, much to the consternation of internet-using animal-lovers everywhere. But don't fret: The weirdos and agitators of 4chan's /b/ are hot on the trail.