Hudson Hongo · 08/11/15 05:30PM

Biologists at Yellowstone National Park say they have caught an adult female grizzly bear near where a “partially consumed” hiker was found on Friday. Officials say the bear will be euthanized if DNA analysis, scat samples and paw measurements identify it as the hiker’s attacker.

Groundhog Predicts Six More Seconds of Biting The Mayor's Ear Off

Jay Hathaway · 02/02/15 05:40PM

Low-rent Punxsutawney Phil impersonator Jimmy the Groundhog has the easy annual task of predicting each February whether Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, will experience six more weeks of winter (yes: it is in Wisconsin). This year, the job got to him a little bit as he whispered his prognostication into Mayor Jonathan Freund's ear: The weather will be—got your ear, sucker! I'm biting your damn ear off! How you like me now?

Side Effects of Global Warming You’re Not Worried About Enough Yet

Mallory Ortberg · 10/13/12 08:58AM

New evidence indicates that our recent bouts of Extreme Weather might be caused by global warming, and not by sick BMX tricks as previously thought. And climate change is apparently increasing the amount of ice in Antarctica. Sure, everyone's ("everyone's") concerned about the plight of equatorial island nations in the face of rising sea levels and the annual die-off of the elderly and indigent during the summer heat waves along the Atlantic seaboard. But there are a great many more sinister changes that should be giving us pause. Such as:

Bison Charges Small Child at Yellowstone, Proves We Should All Just Stay Inside

Taylor Berman · 09/09/12 08:02PM

As if the hantavirus outbreak in Yosemite wasn't enough to keep you inside and away from national parks forever, now comes news that wild bison in Yellowstone are charging innocent children. As the Daily Mail, England's paper of record, notes, the child was encouraged by his parents to approach the bison, who was near a wooden walkway in the park. The bison did what taunted bison are wont to do, and charged the small child. He escaped, and his parents, or whatever responsible adults were with him, laughed and laughed.