You ever have a friend who was obsessed with your life? Always tryin' to stay over your house and learn your family members' names, then speaking to and about them in a familial tone? Saying, of you and your partner, "Oh my God, I love you guys together. You're seriously like my favorite couple. I wish I were part of the couple. Haha, is that weird? Just kidding, obviously, I like you guys together. Do you ever feel like I am part of the couple?"
Used to be Angelina Jolie showed everyone she was a wild angel by allowing the actor Billy Bob Thornton to perform acts of coitus with her and having a godawful dragon tattoo. Now that she's more mature, she has to dream up new ways to subvert our perceptions—of what a bride should wear on her wedding day; of what is and is not appropriate to do with the actor Billy Bob Thornton.
It's been a pretty successful week in A-list celebrity relations for the Daily Mail, which just had to apologize to George Clooney after he accused the tabloid of making stories about his fiancée's family, and is now reportedly being sued by Angelina Jolie over a video taken 15 years ago by a man who claims he was her drug dealer.
The most famous unwed parents in America may soon wed, The Hollywood Reporter reports. After Angelina Jolie was photographed with a giant diamond on her ring finger, jeweler Robert Procop confirmed that he "did indeed design an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie, designed in collaboration with Brad Pitt." So either they're engaged, or Angie is playing a cruel joke on every tabloid magazine on the planet. [THR]
A study in speed meme-ing: In under 24 hours, Angelina Jolie's dramatic right leg has taken over the internet. As we speak, America's most powerful meme factories are pumping their pistons as fast as they can: What if Angelina's leg had a Twitter feed? What if it got peppersprayed? What if she showed both her legs? What should we call it? Jolie-ing? Angelegging? What if Al Roker did this pose?