Biz Stone used an age-shortener to fit his birthday onto Twitter; Julia Allison tried doing math with her brain; and Ana Marie Cox attempted to flirt with Rahm Emanuel over basic cable. The Twitterati turned to tools of last resort.
In your explosive Thursday media column: Iceland's bad bet, the wienermobile is the future of journalism, more hard times at USA Today, Conde Nast would like to be the new Wonkette, and a scary scene at Fashion Week.
Gross itchy scabs Mark Halperin and John Heileman want to sell books by setting up Steve Schmidt and Sarah Palin in a cage match, argues Wonkette founding editor and Gawker Media alumna Ana Marie Coxon her Air America Radio blog.
What a wild few months for Office of Management and Budget stud-cum-nerd Peter Orszag! His lovechild is born! He's engaged to not-the-mama! And he's got the New York Timesasking what he's going to do with his life!
Justin Timberlake dispensed a lesson in celebrity (retarded) physics, Martha Stewart demonstrated how not to hide your Twitter ghostwriter and Ana Marie Cox is walking around in a haze and think about a 12-step program. The Twitterati bumbled.
Ana Marie Cox thanked late director John Hughes for giving her a spunky redhead to imitate; Lockhart Steele has had it with other people getting pampered in restaurants; everyone was already drinking. The Twitterati were no ingrates.
Lately it seems like everyone on Twitter is dropping the ball. Too little chatter and too much "living" of "lives." So we ran a very scientific survey and discovered that, yes, basically everyone missed their numbers this month. The shamed:
AT&T failed to give Adam Frucci a sense of childlike wonder about his iPhone; Jimmy Jane's mobile device proved more satisfying to Melissa Gira Grant and Ana Marie Cox damned an internet conference with faint praise.
Aw. Non-MJ-mourner and celebrity Twitterer Ana Marie Cox will not host The Rachel Maddow Show tonight, because MSNBC is devoting all its primetime programming to the still-classified 2004 CIA report into interrogations and detentions. Ha ha, just kidding.
Wailin Wong has had it with the homophobes on the Chicago Tribune website, which is just as well, since Ana Marie Cox has had it with people insisting she wear pants. The Twitterati, in short, said they wanted a revolution.