Hunger Games Amusement Park Coming to Atlanta, I Guess?

Chris Thompson · 11/03/15 08:02PM

Lionsgate Entertainment Corp. has confirmed it: AVATRON Park will bring “to the great state of Georgia and American audiences everywhere” theme park attractions based upon a dystopian future in which children are forced to kill each other for an annual television special.

Abbottabad, the City Where Osama Bin Laden Was Killed, Is Building an Amusement Park

Taylor Berman · 02/05/13 12:37AM

In an effort to boost tourism, Abbottabad, the Pakistani city where Osama Bin Laden was killed, is building an amusement park. There will be all sorts of fun activities, including a zoo, a paragliding club, a rock climbing wall, water sports, and even mini-golf. But will there be a Zero Dark Thirty ride or anything else related to the city's one-time most famous resident? Alas, no.

Woman Upset That Six Flags Rescued Her Dog From Her Hot Car, Then Lost Him

Seth Abramovitch · 09/13/11 02:20AM

Meet Shalanon Brooks, the kind of functionally retarded person you encounter frequently in Southern California. Shalanon is the owner of a Pomeranian whom she named "Malibu." (See first sentence.) She didn't just buy Malibu, but was actually prescribed Malibu for "emotional support." (See first sentence again.) Shalanon went to spend a day riding roller coasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but when she realized the strap of her Louis Vuitton dog carrying-case had broken, she opted to leave Malibu in her car with the windows cracked open and some water and food. (See— Enh. You know the drill by now.)

Kentucky to Build Greatest Religious Amusement Park Ever

Jim Newell · 12/01/10 04:07PM

Kentucky's Democratic Gov. Steve Beshear breathlessly announced today that he has secured a deal with Ark Encounter LLC to build an awesome creationism-themed amusement park in his state. What, along with a "full-scale Noah's Ark," will it contain?

Grown Man Has Nervous Breakdown On Amusement Park Ride

Kate Shapiro · 09/16/10 03:43PM

This brave young man puts his fear of being launched into the air aside to ride an amusement park ride with his friend. Once they get launched into the air; however, he starts screaming for his mother.

Roller Coaster Traps Riders Upside Down for 20 Minutes

Maureen O'Connor · 05/04/10 12:59PM

Two people were trapped upside down, fifty feet in the air, for twenty minutes when one of their ponchos got tangled in the tracks of the steepest roller coaster in the world. This story contains a smorgasboard of phobias.