Last night marked Howard Stern's debut as a judge on NBC's giddily lowbrow/despicable freak show, America's Got Talent (now in its seventh fucking season). He was introduced on the show with an ominous package that contained the phrase "shock jock" and footage of Stern saying that he was going to be like "Piers on steroids" (in reference to replacing Piers Morgan as AGT's Simon Cowell). However, he was more like Piers on a mild stimulant and some Splenda. Stern let down easy a woman who sang with a dozen of her pet birds clinging to her shirt, gushed about how great America is after seeing one of those glow-in-the-dark dance acts this show adores and then cuddled onstage with a dude who'd received a second chance after he botched his initial audition. Stern's leaps and bounds more articulate than just about anyone else who's flapping their gums on a televised competition and he often tempered his praise with sarcasm, but this is a much kinder and gentler Stern.
Exciting news for fans of the country's premiere cat-juggling competition, America's Got Talent. The Piers Morgan-shaped hole in the NBC reality show's judging roster has been filled with none other than self-proclaimed King of All Satellite Radio, Howard Stern. The deal was announced on Stern's Sirius radio show this morning, with Stern literally signing the contract on the air that would pay him an undisclosed amount (the rumor is $15 million), in addition to moving the show from L.A. to New York.
Those Funny Little People is a variety act composed entirely of dancing garden gnomes who are rumored to be so sexually deviant, they've been banned for life from the furry convention circuit. The troupe keeps advancing on America's Got Talent, NBC's televised glue-huffing competition, mainly because Judge Piers Morgan absolutely hates them, so Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel keep voting them through. And, well, it never stops being hilarious!