On the list of Worst Ways to Spend $1.2 Million Dollars, buying Don McLean's original manuscript to the 1971 classic "American Pie" is probably in the top fifty, if not top ten. You can buy a house or a speedboat or a flock of exotic birds for a fraction of that kinda money, but some dummy would rather just have an old stack of papers.
Like something out of an American Pie movie — and about as funny — actor Eddie Kaye Thomas, best remembered as Paul "Shit Break" Finch from the long-running film franchise, had to call a SWAT team on a knife-wielding female houseguest whom he had met just 24 hours earlier at a diner and brought back to his Hollywood Hills home.
Here's a redband (aka NSFW) trailer for American Reunion, the fourth feature film in the simply hilarious American Pie franchise. It's totally wild!
With My Best Friend's Girl abysmal box office performance last weekend now behind us, we've been pondering the fallout of some of film's stars. Obviously Jason Biggs is always going to be known as the dude who stuck his peen in an apple pie. And Dane Cook's MySpace rants have gotten more views than all of his films put together. But Kate Hudson! We had so much hope for you, spawn of Goldie Hawn. Once a flaxen-haired hippie goddess with daisies laced in your hair, your gracefully slept your way to the top of the Stillwater groupies in Almost Famous. And you were almost more endearing than annoying in How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, which we must admit we occasionally watch on TBS when our plans fall through on a Friday night. We thought you might be on your way to becoming the queen of chick flicks, but now, you've taken it too far.How you suddenly went from a cute, perky blonde ingénue to a shrill, talentless flop is puzzling, but we have a feeling the downward spiral began when you took on the gem that was Fool's Gold, in which you reprised your stale dynamic with co-star Matthew McConaughey. Okay, so the film did decently, pulling in $70 million stateside. But it was the film that officially marked you as a romantic foil. You've made a habit out of banking on your hunky co-stars - even doubling up with the Wilson brothers by taking Owen in You, Me, and Dupree, and Luke in Alex and Emma. No longer are you the enticing, independent Penny Lane we once knew who wanted to establish her own identity as an actress. Instead, you seem more interested in raising your dating profile by serving as Lance Armstrong's last blonde-of-the-month. And we're not the only ones who are upset. Your poor career choices have also angered film blogger Jeffrey Wells, who has some harsh words for you:
Click to viewBoomp3.com At the premiere of the blockbuster rom-com My Best Friend’s Girl, Jason Biggs went the extra mile to ensure that the press photographed his preferred side. Biggs admitted that he may have been influenced by a recent episode of Entourage, but he’s always a bit sheepish about the right side of his face. Biggs said, “I think there’s a couple of crow’s feet on that side that the Photoshop wizards forgot to remove.” Biggs firmly planted himself in front of the poster until all of the invited guests had walked all the way down the red carpet and into the theater. [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
Ah yes, we fondly recall the halycon days of the summer of 1999, when a fresh-faced batch of no-names captured the zeitgeist by bringing the carnal pleasures of beating off to webcam porn and fucking pastry items to the big screen. Yes, that's right, American Pie was a surprise hit that summer, grossing over $100 million back in the days when that threshold still meant something. It went on to launch the careers of a whole handful of marginally talented actors and even managed to spin off not one, not two but FIVE sequels. The intervening years, however, have not been kind to the cast. Some ended up in rehab (Tara Reid, Natasha Lyonne), some were exposed as having no talent (Jason Biggs, Chris Klein), and some found themselves twirling around dancefloors in silly costumes on utterly banal reality television programs (Shannon Elizabeth). Of the lot, only Alyson Hannigan and Seann William Scott are still in a position where people actually return their phone calls. At least that's what we thought until we saw Stifler out himself on last night's Late Night With Conan O'Brien by confessing that his Q Rating with the millenial set is somewhere south of Carrot Top's. Good luck, Alyson — now you're the last counselor left at Band Camp with any cred. [Late Night With Conan O'Brien]